Dirty Little Secret: Video Vixen

Dirty Little Secrets will be an ongoing series on the blog.  I share my dirty little secrets, which are barely dirty and mostly not secret, and then you share your similar secrets in the comments.  No judging, just lots of love.  The kind of sharing that Grover taught us on Sesame Street.  [Please note: if you did not learn how to share from Grover on Sesame Street, you are probably too young for this blog.  Get your butt over here post-haste.]

 

At one point in my life, all I wanted to be was a video girl.  You know, the love interest in a music video?  Not like the current video vixens who hump the floor and make their booty clap.  I’m not even talking the 80’s white girl video girls who were all Aqua Net, stilettos and fish-nets.

Nope, my video girl dreams were those of the early 90’s R&B boy bands.  We’re talking very early 90’s, like Boyz II Men, Color Me Badd, All-4-One and other similar 3 word balladeers. Read More

February 25, 2011 34 Comments Short URL, , , , , , , Dirty Little Secrets

A afternoon at the ‘bux

(Some musings as I attempted to blog on Sunday while at Starbucks. I felt the urge to get these random thoughts out of my head, lest they become even more distracting.  Instead, they became a post. Bonus.)

Is it rude to spank someone else’s child? How about illegal? I can deal with rude, but illegal gives me pause…only slightly. Are we talking fine-illegal or jail time-illegal?  Will there be a trial? Because I can play back the video of this little boy who has to be 8 and still sucking his thumb and screaming “I WANT THE TURTLES!!!!!” and I will get off EASY. Possibly with restitution for my ruined afternoon.

Wait. Are they chocolate turtles? Because I might spank him and then knock him down and steal them. I’m not into chocolate, but I make an exception when they include caramel.

********* Read More

February 24, 2011 19 Comments Short URLMusings

Moo.

Her first ride home. (And the reason I was late to our first APW bookclub!)

Today, I bring y0u Maggie the Wonder Dog.

Also known as Maggie Moo, Moo, Goobies, Stink, Stank, Puppydawg and Babies.

Or Margaret when she’s in trouble.

We got Maggie from a rescue shelter whom I refuse to name because they are terrible. They mean well, but they are TERRIBLE. She was spayed, but not heartworm tested and came back positive. Read More

February 23, 2011 42 Comments Short URLHappy Homemaker

No Good Very Bad Day

Yesterday, as I’m leaving work, I put my brand new iPhone 4 on top of my roof as I dig through my purse for my keys.

(Y’all know where this is going, don’t you?)

Three miles, four honks and 30 to 40 miles per hour later, someone finally gets my attention at a stoplight and points out to my that my damn phone is still on the roof of my car. Thank God for me having just washed it, and my nice grippy pink Otterbox case, otherwise Alyssa’s lovely phone would have slid off the roof and shattered into a thousand tiny expensive pieces.

So that happened. And I was VERY lucky.

But for every awesome action, there is an equal and opposite sucky reaction. Read More

February 22, 2011 21 Comments Short URLUncategorized

Life List: Sew 50 little dresses for Africa.

One of the items on my Life List is to sew 50 little dresses for Africa. It’s a pretty simple task and even with my meager sewing skills I could possibly knock it out in a couple of weekends. But I added it to my Life List because it’s an important project for me that doesn’t need to get thrown in the closet along with all my other crafty attempts.

Little Dresses for Africa is a non-profit that donates homemade pillowcase dresses to orphans in Africa.  (there’s also a Britches for Boys, before anyone starts…) These kids are in remote villages that have been affected by the AIDS pandemic and in addition to donating the dresses, the group also hold camps and informal classes on sanitation, nutrition and health.

In order to volunteer, all you have to do is follow their pattern (or use your own) and construct simple, easily sizable dresses and then send them to LDFA. They then package them for mission groups to take with them to Africa, or mail the dresses directly. I chose to start making dresses because I love crafty stuff and have been trying to learn to sew for a very long time. (Sewing is less like riding a bike than it is like learning a language – you have to continue it in order to keep your skills. I spent a lot of time in the costume shop while in college and even had a summer where all I did was costume construction. Then I graduated and became the suck.) LDFA seemed a really good way for me to be crafty and spend time and energy on doing something good. A win all around. Read More

February 21, 2011 33 Comments Short URL, , , , , , , Crafts 'n such, Life List

Eff you, To-Do…

GAH, I feel like I have so much to do all the time.  My poor Teux Deux list keeps getting longer and longer because I can’t seem to check things off…

  • Laundry
    • Dear God, do I need to do laundry…  Not just what I need for the week, but ALL my laundry. I keep putting it in piles on the floor of the spare bedroom, so they stare at me and remind me to wash them. But they’ve sat there long enough that Maggie has appropriated some of our towels as an impromptu dog bed when she’s mad at us and wants to pout. Read More

February 18, 2011 29 Comments Short URLHappy Homemaker, I fail at life.

Link Love: We Heart This

For all my dorkery, I am a bit of a girly girl.

Okay, fine.  I’m a product whore.

I love me some beauty products.  I’m happiest when slathered in pretty smelling lotions and fancy mascara and lip gloss that my hair gets stuck in when the wind blows.

And because  I love beauty products, I love beauty blogs.  And because I’ve read so many, I’m SUPER picky about who are my go-to’s when I want to check out a product.

There are a couple that are my favorites and I visit regularly, like Nouveau Cheap and All Lacquered Up. (Which are totally getting their own Link Love.)  But generally, most beauty blogs leave a lot to be desired. They cover a lot of the same products and are usually so excited about getting products from PR firms that they gush over them and it never feels like a real review.

But then there’s We Heart This.

I am a reviewer for We Heart This, but that little gig came about after nearly a year of me visiting the blog nearly every day.  Which also resulted in my spending a lot of money. Money well spent though, because I discovered some great products like Julie Hewett’s Camellia Balm and Benefit BADgal liner

But WHT is more than just beauty. Read More

February 17, 2011 8 Comments Short URLLink Love, Pretty Pretty Princess

Dirty Little Secrets

Dirty Little Secrets will be an ongoing series on the blog.  I share my dirty little secrets, which are barely dirty and mostly not secret, and then you share your similar secrets in the comments.  No judging, just lots of love.  The kind of sharing that Grover taught us on Sesame Street.  [Please note: if you did not learn how to share from Grover on Sesame Street, you are probably too young for this blog.  Get your butt over here post-haste.]

– I don’t really have a problem with Justin Bieber.  I know all the cool kids hate him, but I think he’s cute in a obnoxious way. I mean, he’s like 16, people!  Everyone is an idiot at 16. Plus, he’s got the Usher stamp of approval. You don’t argue with that. Read More

February 16, 2011 44 Comments Short URLDirty Little Secrets, I gots the music in me

Eatin’ Pants: Chicken Soup

Another recipe sparked by Jethro being ill, my chicken soup story is fraught with pain.

I decided to make chicken soup for Jethro (around the same time of the bewb cake) because he was sick and whiny and being stereotypically male about the entire situation.  (It’s okay, he doesn’t read my blog.  I KNOW, he’s a bad husband.)  And since he was being so TV sitcom about his cold, I decided to do so also and make him chicken soup.

Knowing my husband’s propensity to reject anything too “fancy”, I found a fairly simple recipe from Rachael Ray that didn’t look too out there.

Except for the popcorn she says to add as a garnish. Popcorn? Seriously, RayRay?

Do y’all ever think she’s just making shit up as she goes along? Or that she’s effing crazy?  “Then add oyster crackers! Or…or…popcorn! Or…Jolly Ranchers! Yeah, Jolly Ranchers! Have fun with it! Hey, Rancher sounds like Rachael!!  Rancher Rachael!  HAHAHHAHA!  EVOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!”

Read More

February 15, 2011 33 Comments Short URLEatin' Pants, Recipes

A Valentine’s Day Story

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I offer up a story for y’all.

A cautionary tale, if you will, on the dangers of…lingerie.

In lieu of a regular bridal shower, my sister-in-law and friends threw me a lingerie shower.  Which I thought brilliant because I love parties, booze and fancy underwear.  A win all the way around.

An interesting sidenote about lingerie showers?  It’s totally a secret view into your friends’ sex lives.  It’s not completely accurate, but let’s just say that I wasn’t surprised who got me the classy ivory peignoir and who got me the black and red lace maid’s apron.

Plus, it makes for a new favorite game: put on one of your gifts, get your husband to admit he thinks it’s sexy and then tell him his sister bought it for you.  NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY. Read More

February 14, 2011 51 Comments Short URL, , , , I fail at life.

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