Her first ride home. (And the reason I was late to our first APW bookclub!)

Today, I bring y0u Maggie the Wonder Dog.

Also known as Maggie Moo, Moo, Goobies, Stink, Stank, Puppydawg and Babies.

Or Margaret when she’s in trouble.

We got Maggie from a rescue shelter whom I refuse to name because they are terrible. They mean well, but they are TERRIBLE. She was spayed, but not heartworm tested and came back positive.

Maggie the Aggie.

We, of course, had her treated. But as we were giving her the pre-meds they prescribed before her treatment, she had a little incident in Oklahoma at the family farm.  Somehow, out all the crap she could get into, she managed to find the one cake of rat poison that had been set out in the pump house.

“I no LIKE Christmas.”


“Dear God, woman, I hate you.”

So we had a month of vitamin K pills before we could get her heartworms treated. Lots of tiny pills shoved in cheese, lots of tears on my part because she’d wormed her way (HA!) into our hearts, the little sh*t.

Post Saturday morning emergency hospital visit that included induced vomiting, vitamin K injections and huge vet bills.

Ten seconds away from giving kisses with her stank breath.

We have also had to recently take her to the vet due to some…stomach issues.  Three hours and $200 later, we learn she has some stomach issues. *sigh*


Maggie looks playful, but she has no idea how to play.  You put a toy in front of her and she ignores it once she realizes she can’t eat it.  She’ll gnaw on her fox with no stuffing, but just because she’s bored.  It has a squeaker in the tail and it freaks her out every time.

Don’t even get me started on that stupid Kong with the peanut butter stuff.

Post Jethro grooming.  She’s naked.

Jethro decided that getting Moo groomed was too expensive. So he proceeded to buy an expensive pair of shears and a Dremmel and then go to town. Two hours later, she had a lovely 16th of a inch coat.  In January.

The best part was after doing her coat, grinding her nails down and then giving her a bath, she proceeded to hide.

We found her on the bed, laying on Jethro’s pillow.

I love her so much.

“Open that fridge.  There’s cheese in there.”

42 comments on “Moo.

  1. irisira
    February 23, 2011 at 6:49 am #

    I love that you dedicated a post to your dog, because my animals are the center of my world. Roscoe, and Finnegan.
    (Spoiled rotten little sh*ts.)

  2. irisira
    February 23, 2011 at 6:51 am #

    Er … meant to post this one of Finnegan. Stupid new Facebook feature (*grumble*)

    • kindofamess
      February 23, 2011 at 3:58 pm #

      AHH! SO cute! I love how giant Finnegan is, but I bet Roscoe rules the roost….

      And I’m just impressed you used HTML in a comment. I just figured out how to do that like last week…

      • irisira
        February 24, 2011 at 7:01 am #

        Oh, totally. He likes to beat up on dogs – both mine and my mother’s (aka, “Uncle Max”). Roscoe’s fave place to snuggle up is on Finnegan’s dog bed. Every once in a while, when Roscoe is on the bed, Finnegan joins him. Roscoe swats him, and Finnegan just looks at him like, “Dude. This is MY BED.”

        One time in particular, they were being snarky to one another – Roscoe attacking with claws, Finnegan growling, etc. I yelled at both of them to be nice to one another. They stood on either side of me with their heads down. “Yes, Mom.” All I could think of was my aunt when she used to yell at my cousins – her sons – when we were all kids. 🙂

        My blogging dates back to Livejournal (remember Livejournal?), and the only way to insert links, pics, etc. was by knowing simple HTML tags. I don’t know much besides links, pictures, and font, but it gets me by …

  3. Jo
    February 23, 2011 at 7:31 am #

    I love your dog. Just love. And trust me, my roomie’s “grooming” of her dog was worse. It was a reverse mohawk because she stopped in the middle realizing it looked horrible, and the dog’s hair would NOT grow back. For months he had the teeth marks of the trimmer in his back.

    • kindofamess
      February 23, 2011 at 4:01 pm #

      Maggie has just gotten rid of her trimmer marks. And the vet said he did a good job, so now Jethro thinks he’s the best groomer ever…

      I am excited about using the Dremmel in craft project though. Total bonus.

  4. christy
    February 23, 2011 at 8:57 am #

    Oh my goodness. Her cuteness is too much to handle!!!!!

    • kindofamess
      February 23, 2011 at 4:03 pm #

      I know.

      But it wears off when you’re picking up her giant turds…. (TMI?)

  5. Sarah
    February 23, 2011 at 10:41 am #

    Awww …. puppy!

    I can’t lie, that picture of her curled up on the pillow, after the vet visit, is mind of killing me with the adorables.

    • kindofamess
      February 23, 2011 at 4:05 pm #

      I was so mad at her. She had us SO freaked out and there she was, one hour after yakking up everything she’s ever eaten, all curled up in her giant dog bed and happy as can be.

      Meanwhile, Jethro’s dad had been feeding me beer since we got back from the vet, just to get me to calm down a bit…

  6. ddayporter
    February 23, 2011 at 10:43 am #

    I LOVE YOUR DOG. our little dude took a while to get used to toys and figure out they’re his and they’re fun. the squeakers used to freak him out too! but now he’s totally psychotic over toys, after we played with them with him for a bit (we didn’t think he’d ever understand the concept of tug-a-war but he’s finally getting it!). I think squirting that goo into a kong is totally gross also. and I feel you on the expensive vet bills. aaahhh!!! totally worth it though.

    • kindofamess
      February 23, 2011 at 4:15 pm #

      She’s kind of old, they said 3 but Jethro thinks closer to 5. (He used to be a vet tech.) I think she used to be beaten, she’s SUPER submissive and will roll on her belly if you even look like you want to pet her. She also doesn’t make any noise, I’ve heard her make 5 barks (like not 5 barking fits, just 5 individual barks) since we’ve had her.
      Since she’s an older dog who hadn’t been spayed until the rescue groups picked her up, AND she was found in a kill shelter, I think her owners were horrible.

      And considering how cute she is, that makes then EXTRA horrible.

  7. Ms. Bunny
    February 23, 2011 at 11:49 am #

    Your pup causes some hilarious havoc. I love your twitter posts about her, and I love a full blog post on her. More more more!

    • kindofamess
      February 23, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

      I could devote an entire post to the smells that dog generates, but I might lose some readers. (I could also do that for Jethro, actually…)

      • Caitlin
        February 23, 2011 at 8:04 pm #

        HA 🙂

      • irisira
        February 24, 2011 at 7:09 am #

        No, I don’t think you would. My dog has the stankiest ass of any dog I’ve ever come across (my BIL’s dog has the runner’s up post). I think we would all commiserate.

  8. Kristy
    February 23, 2011 at 1:49 pm #

    She is so cute! Even bald, she’s precious. Though I still can’t believe the ordeal with the shelter. (Grrr.)

    • kindofamess
      February 23, 2011 at 4:17 pm #

      I KNOW! They never even made a home visit for us, when they made such a big deal out of them coming to check us out…
      Granted, had they made a visit and decided they needed to take her back, I might have set someone on fire…

  9. Sharon
    February 23, 2011 at 3:53 pm #

    So adorable!!!!

    • kindofamess
      February 23, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

      Thanks! She’s a needy little stinkpot. 🙂

  10. Caitlin
    February 23, 2011 at 8:03 pm #

    i love her. those EYEBROWS.

  11. Jenn
    February 25, 2011 at 8:21 am #

    WHAT AN ADORABLE DOG!!!! That face, I just want to eat her up.

    We would love to take my dog back to the professional groomers, but we “have been asked politely never to bring our dog back again.” Sigh.

    • kindofamess
      February 25, 2011 at 2:14 pm #

      HA! I love it. Did they pin a note to her collar with a progress report? “Dear Mr. and Mrs. Jenn, Please don’t bring Puddles back. We’ve already lost two employees and can’t afford to lose another.”

      • Jenn
        February 27, 2011 at 11:36 am #

        It was the groomers attached to our vets – they told us that Boris had basically spent the whole time trying to jump off the table. So the next time, we went with him, thinking our presence would calm him down? HA. it was the worst experience of my life, my fiance (then bf – dedication even then, let me tell you.) had to bear-hug the dog (Boris is ~75lbs) to keep him on the table, while the groomer ran around trying to shave the exposed bits. and this is what he looked like afterwards. You’ll have to scroll down (I can’t figure out all this fancy html stuff) because you need some reference to how much hair he usually has… you’ll know when you get to the right photo. Poor boy.

        • kindofamess
          February 27, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

          AWWW!! Your poor puppy. He’s adorable and I want to snuggle him. I also hope he’s doing better….

  12. Catherine
    February 25, 2011 at 10:18 am #

    beautiful dog! She’s adorable. But you should name the shelter, otherwise it just continues…

    Also we found raw dog food helps with the tummy stuff and breath 🙂

    Love you over on PW too!

    • kindofamess
      February 25, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

      Thanks! And I’d name them, but then they might get traffic and I don’t want that. They’re not bad people, just horribly run and in need of administrative help. (Believe me, if they had harmed her in any way, I’d be all over their asses…) And we’ve switched her to a venison and sweet potato food and her breath (and potty habits) have improved IMMENSELY. It’s amazing. But thank you for the tip, I think we might one day do raw food, but right now we’re lazy.

      • Tadalafil
        February 18, 2015 at 10:55 am #

        Apparently this is what the esteemed Willis was talkin’ ’bout.

  13. Nina
    February 25, 2011 at 11:24 am #

    Aww adorable! I’m sorry about the trouble you’ve gone through. I can sorta sympathize as our first months with our dog involved a few vet trips.

    Also, we spent 3 hours trying to trim her last weekend and ended up with an entire sink full of hair and a dog we decided looks like a sewer rat. I can see why people pay groomers now….

    • kindofamess
      February 25, 2011 at 2:22 pm #

      Jethro kept saying she looked like she had progeria….I was so embarassed to take her to the vet.

  14. lizzie
    February 25, 2011 at 2:10 pm #

    holy COW she is such a beautiful dog! that has to be my favorite type of dog, lady….she’s so purdy! you did a good job!

    • kindofamess
      February 25, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

      Thank you! I keep telling her that the internet thinks she’s pretty and she’s all, WHATEVERS MOM. GIMMEE CHEESE. (We don’t have a voice for her yet. But I know she speaks in all caps.)

  15. Em
    February 25, 2011 at 4:05 pm #

    Seconding Catherine on suggesting raw food. It doesn’t even have to be a full-on diet or anything, even raw chicken wings do good! They’ve got to chew then and it cleans their teeth which makes their breath less smelly. Or just… raw bones, with meat. Not weight bearing bones… Ones they can cronch up (yes, it’s not really a word but it’s the sound they make when they eat the bones. Cronch cronch cronch…. maybe?)… my Aussie usually just has a chicken carcass. Tasty!
    Anyway, I love this post. Dogs are awesome. For some reason mine has ended up with an advice column in my blog (well, once so far). Hahaha, I keep scrolling up and looking at the pictures. Cute!

  16. Jenn
    February 27, 2011 at 9:06 pm #

    I wish I could tell you that he was. The fam is really not coping well, but we’re trying to band together and make sure he has the best possible life all the way. I don’t want to be a downer though – he is a wonderful wonderful dog, and we love him to pieces, and I know he has had a great life with us, and we will keep it that way for as long as possible. Dogs are such a gift.

    • Jenn
      February 27, 2011 at 9:08 pm #

      somehow clicked reply in the wrong place…sorry. not so tech savy.

  17. sarah
    March 24, 2011 at 7:32 pm #

    I just found your blog and I don’t know if you will see this comment a month later, but OMG your dog!! So in love because she looks and acts like my dog (an Australian shepherd/ Collie mix). I am curious if your dog has found her voice yet? It took my dog a few months but now she’s lives to bark at dogs. She’s still scared of people but thinks she’s a badass as barks her head off at dogs then hides behind me.

    • kindofamess
      March 25, 2011 at 4:43 pm #

      Nope, she’s still quiet. I think we could be murdered in our sleep and she’d still be lying at the foot of the stairs on her back, waiting for belly scritches….

  18. suite7beautytalk
    February 9, 2012 at 10:34 am #

    Maggie is beautiful. Dogs are a weakness for me, especially really cute ones. It’s hard not to put things on them like hats or scarves, not necessarily ensembles, though don’t tempt me… but their so stinkin’ cute it’s hard to resist..


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