Kind of a Mess

Suck.

As you may have noticed, Kind of a Mess has been kind of vacant lately. Normally this is where I’d apologize, but I always kind of hate it when bloggers apologize for being absent from their blog for any length of time because then I feel like I’m an obligation, which in turns makes me feel bad. So then the blogger feels bad and then I feel bad, but the blogger doesn’t KNOW I feel bad, which makes me resentful that they’ve put their baggage on me, which then makes me feel worse and it’s just this violent effing cycle.

So I’m not apologizing.

Nope.

You get what content I give you WHEN I give it to you and you’ll LIKE it.

(please.)

Anyway, while I play catch-up with life and school and work, y’all watch my college buddy Lyndsey from Awkward Embraces in a Target commercial. Not only do I love Lyndsey because she’s hilarious, I love Target. And scones.

And then if you have ever owned a cat, go here to read about Adam Ellis’s brain-damaged cat Lola on Books of Adam.

And continue to love me. (YES, even you, Mom.)

March 14, 2011 5 Comments Short URLI fail at life.

Life List: Successfully own a large fish tank (fresh and saltwater).

Growing up, I almost always had a fish tank. Well, rather, my mother always had a fish tank. It would be in my room, and I’d be the one who picked out and named the fish, but my mom would end up being the one to take care it; spending her Saturdays vacuuming it out with the tank siphon, getting stinky fish water all over herself and cursing her lazy daughter and her stupid fish.

I’ve also owned several fish tanks over the years as an adult. And they’ve all had something in common.

The fish hated me, they stank and then they died. Read More

March 7, 2011 11 Comments Short URLI fail at life., Life List

Eatin’ Pants: Marshmallows and Awesome

You know what you need to fix a bad week? Besties and s’mores.

My friend Stacey came in on Tuesday night and she had lunch with me while we talked about how everyone’s life would be better if they just listened to what we told them. (It’s true.)

She also got Maggie to bark at her. Because she’s magic.

To prove that magic, she came up with a brilliant idea.

S’mores.

With homemade marshmallows.

Told you she was magic. Read More

March 4, 2011 13 Comments Short URLEatin' Pants, Happy Homemaker, Recipes

One more day, moppets…

One more day is needed until I am recovered from the week ‘o not-awesome. I got to spent last night with my buddy Stacey and it totally made up for bird poo on my tofu and other assorted things that also suck.

But it also means that I spent yesterday having fun and not writing.

So instead, I want you to visit “Hyperbole and a Half.” It’s run by Allie Brosh who not only is adorable, but is hilarious.

Like, make you gasp for breath hilarious. Like, you might pee a little hilarious. Like, make you laugh so hard that your chest will seize up and you’ll be all “Lord, Jesus, it’s the big one, Elizabeth, I’m comin’!”*

THAT hilarious.

So go and read her. But then come back here tomorrow.

Because tomorrow there shall be tales of s’mores and besties and Buffy and good times.

But nothing as awesome as this story. (If you own a dog, read it. Now. RIGHT NOW. GO!!!)

Edit: I almost forgot. You need to also read “The God of Cake” and “The Year Kenny Loggins Ruined Christmas.” If you do nothing else today but eat Cheetos and maybe have a poo, you NEED to read those stories.

*Love and kisses for anyone who knows what I’m referring to here. And remember, Jesus hates cheaters who Google.

March 3, 2011 5 Comments Short URLUncategorized

Maggie Moo…updated.

Y’ALL. Rachel has given me another gift….Maggie Moo in the lingerie of doom.

It’s so funny, I can’t stand it. These pictures might need to be part of a screensaver.

GAH! I love it. Go check it out!

March 2, 2011 1 Comment Short URLUncategorized

It’s my blog and I can whine if I want to.

Oh, my darlings, I’m so tired. Everything I have going on is turning into a horcrux for my attention these days – if I divide it anymore, I’ll become less than human. (Nice to know my geek is still intact though….)

I’m having one of those weeks. What kind of week is that, you ask?

Yesterday, a bird pooped in my salad at Whole Foods.

While I was INSIDE the store.

A bird pooping ON you is good luck.

A bird pooping in your cilantro lime tofu is the universe telling you to bend over.

And it was only TUESDAY.

So today, you just get this. Read More

March 2, 2011 7 Comments Short URLI fail at life., Rants

Miss Maggie Moo, courtesy of DDay.

Y’all! Y’ALL!!!!!

So, DDay (also known as Rachel) has been sick the last few days. But despite that, she still had time to take my pictures of Moo and dress them up digitally!!

Right now, over on her blog, Bananas, continued, she has dressed Maggie up as an Aggie football player (in homage to Jethro) AND as a pretty puppy in a little dress to Africa, in homage to this post!

She’s amazing, the detail in the dress matches the one I made perfectly.

Someone get that woman an Etsy store so she can turn your own princess into a real princess!

And go read her blog in general. It’s on my list to be on my blog roll, but I’m lazy, so forgive me.

AHH! I just looked at the pictures again, and I love it. YAY, DDAY!!!

March 1, 2011 3 Comments Short URLUncategorized

Life List: Own 5 Kate Spade items.

Here’s the thing.

And it’s hard to admit, even to y’all.

But we’re friends here, right?

I…I don’t care about purses.

I know, I KNOW!!! I’m a terrible girl, right?

But seriously, I value function over form when it comes to bags and purses. If I can’t find all my crap in it, I don’t give a good GD about how cute it is, I ain’t buyin’ it.

And because I don’t care about bags, I don’t have a favorite designer.

That is…until I met Kate Spade. Read More

March 1, 2011 32 Comments Short URLLife List, WANT.

Link Love: Awkward Embraces: Season 2

Y’all! Y’ALL!!!! Season Two of Awkward Embraces is up!!!!

It’s already off to a hilarious start with Episode One featuring Jess’s hot neighbor and Episode Two has Jess with a booty call. Of course, Super Mario and Star Wars. Read More

February 28, 2011 1 Comment Short URLGeekery, Link Love

Link Love: Not Martha

So I went to Alt Summit in January with Meg and Lauren. Now, I’m a blog reader but I forget that they can be celebrities, even if they are super famous and read by scores and scads of people. (How was I supposed to know who Dooce is if I don’t read her?!?)

But there are a few of my own personal celebrities that I love whom attended Alt. One of them was Megan from Not Martha. Read More

February 28, 2011 8 Comments Short URLLink Love