Eatin’ Pants: Marshmallows and Awesome

You know what you need to fix a bad week?  Besties and s’mores.

My friend Stacey came in on Tuesday night and she had lunch with me while we talked about how everyone’s life would be better if they just listened to what we told them.  (It’s true.)

She also got Maggie to bark at her.  Because she’s magic.

To prove that magic, she came up with a brilliant idea.


With homemade marshmallows.

Told you she was magic.

But first, we needed fuel.  So we headed to Freebirds and both ordered the Hybird which wouldn’t be note-worthy except for this.

My burrito is the bottom one.  Now guess who had the skinny hippie girl making hers, and who had the slightly hot stoner boy who kept chatting her up the whole time.

Uh huh.  Apparently I ordered the “Fatty Fatty Two-by-Four” burrito, while she got the “Hi, I’d like to see you naked,” version.

So we decided to make s’mores.  Fancy homemade marshmallows, cheap melted in the microwave chocolate and box graham crackers.

It’s how we do.

I used Smitten Kitchen‘s marshmallows recipe because she never does me wrong.  If you use any recipe for marshmallows, use hers.  Do not be afraid of the addition on beaten egg whites.  I know you don’t cook them. You will not die. (JETHRO.) Use reconstituted egg whites, it’s easier, handy AND less scary inducing about food poisoning for the sissy-boys in your life. The only sad part about using powdered is I don’t get to show off my mad egg-cracking/separating skillz. (Seriously.)

Marshmallows are made better by having a friend sit on your counter and read your blog all while giggling and reading her favorite comments out loud. (“Heh. Motorboat the cake…”) It’s nice to know that after like ten years, she still thinks I’m funny.

Marshmallows are super easy.  The only hard part is melting the sugar just right.  Do not attempt this without a candy thermometer.  There’s like ten degrees between “just right” and “holy hell, what is on fire in here?!?” so plan accordingly. And you can use a hand-mixer, but a stand mixer is best.  It gets all the air in there to ensure that your ‘mallows are springy and bouncy and nummy.

These marshmallows can be flavored to make them even more amazing.  These were supposed to be coffee flavored, but apparently a grocery store, a fancy organic/ethnic store and a craft store with baking supplies are all too lame to carry coffee flavoring, the rat bastards.  (Part of the reason we started making marshmallows at like 9pm.)

Using vanilla bean paste makes these look fancy, though it’s too hard to capture with an iPhone while you’re busy laughing and eating marshmallow fluff your fingers just to “make sure it tastes good.”  I was able to capture our s’mores, however.

Well, s’more.  As in one each.  Because after spending all night shopping for flavoring, getting judged by hipsters in Freebirds, watching NCIS with Jethro and then making marshmallows while gossiping, you’re just too tired to gorge yourself on multiple s’mores as planned.

Well, too tired to gorge, but not too tired to decimate the one s’more each we had in about 15 messy seconds.

The night was concluded with the Buffy musical episode, as well as a fast-forward viewing of the episode where Buffy loses her virginity (and Angel loses his soul) as well as the season-ender where Buffy stabs Angel to send him into the hell dimension to save the world, even though his soul was already restored by Willow and Buffy SO should have known that and would have if stupid Xander hadn’t been all “Give ’em hell,” and lied by omission while Willow was all busy working her magic and showing shades of future Dark Willow and Oz stood by her bedside looking all concerned and adorable which is why he is our favorite.

*ahem* Once More with Feeling, Surprise and Becoming part 2, respectively.

We regret nothing.

13 comments on “Eatin’ Pants: Marshmallows and Awesome

  1. Erin
    March 4, 2011 at 7:59 am #

    You don’t know me. I stalked you over here from APW (your column today rocks, as always!). This night sounds EPIC. Though how could you have not gone back for the second s’more after Becoming, Part 2? I would have needed gooey comfort to stifle my adolescent sobbing…

    • kindofamess
      March 4, 2011 at 10:50 am #

      Ah, see, but we’re Spike fans. We shed slight tears over Angel and then debated on whether or not we need to watch Smashed just for the up-against-the-wall-making-the-house-fall-down-around-you dirty business.

      And thanks! 🙂

  2. Jo
    March 4, 2011 at 9:02 am #

    OH YES.

  3. The Maiden Metallurgist
    March 4, 2011 at 10:14 am #

    I’ll take the fatty burrito any day.

    • kindofamess
      March 4, 2011 at 10:54 am #

      I WANTED the fatty burrito. But mine is the one of the bottom, the one that said, “Here, tubby, you get a small one. You don’t need all that food. ” Hers said, “Here, hotness. Consume me and add to your voluptuous figure….”

      I’m still pissed.

  4. ddayporter
    March 4, 2011 at 12:04 pm #

    I would have been So Pissed to get a smaller burrito. skinny hippies!! but now I need a burrito for lunch.

    I’ve always wanted to make marshmallows! but I think my candy thermometer’s broken..

  5. Ms. Bunny
    March 4, 2011 at 1:51 pm #

    I really wish I had the tools to make homemade marshmallows…someday I will hopefully. I would eat smores all the time!

  6. Nicole
    March 4, 2011 at 1:59 pm #

    AH! amazing night. And, reading about Buffy just had my stomach in knots because I was sad. I love Angel and Spike. It’s a serious problem.

  7. Becky Mochaface
    March 4, 2011 at 5:14 pm #

    Ok, first… Freebird’s FTW! So much more full of teh awesome, sparkles and rainbows than Chipotle. Though I know some will vehemently disagree with me.

    Second, why do I not have Buffy on DVD? I need me some Angel.

  8. Heather G
    March 6, 2011 at 8:32 am #

    Oh my God!!! It’s a good thing I did not know about this night because I would have totally invited myself (Nevermind that I am in Chicago–just a minor detail). Burritos, s’mores and BUFFY?! AND “Once More with Feeling?” Wow.

  9. Savychacha
    March 16, 2011 at 2:31 pm #

    You are a woman after my own heart 🙂

    There is nothing I enjoy more than eating something delicious (ummm, cookies, chocolate cake, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream) and watching Buffy. I am a Spike fan too…Angel is second best, but Riley makes me want to continuously punch him in the face. I just don’t like him at all.

    I have had the soundtrack to the musical episode since it first came out and every once in a while play it and sing along at the top of my lungs in the car. I am not ashamed.

  10. Madge
    March 18, 2011 at 7:44 am #

    my three favourite episodes ever. so very very heartbreaking.

    The Hush is possibly the scariest thing i have ever seen. not because i can’t watch scary, but because it is genuinely terrfying.

    we do not have smores in the UK. i’ve been exceptionally jealous of this for years and will now attempt to find some kind of brit-version.

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