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Sad Bastard Music: Guilty Secrets

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m lame.  Hell, I’ve built my blog around that fact.  However, I do still have SOME pride…and I’m about to chip away at that useless emotion by revealing to you some of my guilty pleasure songs.

I’ll share these with you, but we must never speak of it again, okay?

All By Myself – cover by Jamie O’Neal
Dude, I just…..I don’t wanna talk about it. Moving on…

Water from the Moon – Celine Dion
I maybe might have owned all of Celine Dion’s albums (on tape) up until 1998. It’s…it is what it is, OKAY?

Wuthering Heights – Kate Bush
Some people HATE this song.  Kate’s soprano is a bit jarring and sharp, the song is about people who were actually kind of douchey and if you haven’t read Wuthering Heights it can make you feel stupid because the song is smarter than you.
But to a overly romantic 14 year old, this might be the most beautiful song ever.  Even hearing it brings me back to sitting on my daybed, hugging my worn teddy bear and sighing about darkly handsome orphan Gypsies…

I’ll Be Over You – Toto (featuring the immutable Michael McDonald)
Everyone has a Toto song they secretly love. If you don’t you just haven’t heard it yet.

Bed of Roses – Bon Jovi
I’m not ashamed of my Bon Jovi love.  I’m not.  I Jumped Rope for Heart to Livin’ on a Prayer, I’ve  banged on steering wheels to Shot Through the Heart and I’ve drunkenly sang Blaze of Glory in bars and shed a tear for poor Billy.  But 90’s Bon Jovi…as cute as he was when he cut his hair, it’s just not cool. 
But I do love this song, only because when was the last time that you woke up and french kissed the morning? 
HUH? 
Deep, Jon, deep.

Shadows of the Night – Pat Benatar
You can pretend like you’re not going to go home later today and play this full blast while singing into a hairbrush, but I know the truth.  No, no, it’s cool.  It’ll be our little secret….

******

Alright, moppets. Gimme your guilty pleasure songs.  Don’t leave me the only one with my slip showin’…

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Sad Bastard Songs: Baby, I’m Beggin’

Please, baby baby, please… There’s something wonderful about a song that just lays it all out there and just flat-out says, “OH LORD JESUS, PLEASE LOVE ME!!!!” That feeling is never fun while you’re in it, but a good Sad Bastard song that begs helps shoulder some of your heart’s burden.
Plus, they make for kick-ass karaoke songs.

Since I Fell for You – Lenny Welch
This is my drunk in a hotel tell bar jam.
I’ve never been drunk in a hotel bar, but I plan on being so one day and when I am, I will march over the local lounge singer, commandeer the mic and I will wail this out while lying across the piano and possibly showing my panties until they call security.
It will happen.

Cry for You – Jodeci
I had this on tape. TAPE. I’m old.

Layla – Derek and the Dominos
I’m gonna put a bold statement out there, and I might lose some people over it, but here goes:

This is the ONLY version of Layla that matters.

No…NO. I don’t wanna hear about the acoustic version that clogged the VH1 airwaves when they still played music (instead of shows about sad has-beens trying to get laid as much as possible under the pretense of finding love.)

THIS, ladies and the two gentlemen who read this, is the real version of Layla. The one full of passion and love and heartache and all that CANNOT be contained in an acoustic song. And anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong, wrong, WRONG…JETHRO.
(He also said that the guitar solo was better in Peter Frampton’s Do You Feel Like We Do. We might need counseling.)

At This Moment – Billy Vera and the Beaters
Despite the unfortunate band name, this has always been one of my favorites. Mostly because I had a wicked crush on Michael J. Fox in Family Ties and this was the love song for him and his girlfriend. Alex P. Keaton still remains the only Republican I’d marry.

Cry Baby – Janis Joplin
Do I even really need to say anything about this one?

Tired of Being Alone – Al Green
And I’ll leave you with King Al. He’s so tired of being alone. Why won’t you help him, girl, just as soon as you caaaaaaannnnn?

Anyone who denies a plea like that is just a cold-hearted woman.

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Sad Bastard Music: Blue-Eyed Soul

I was putting together this list and I randomly discovered that all but one of the artists were classified as “blue-eyed soul.” (Which is just another way of saying white folks singing black folks music.*) So I moved poor Anthony Hamilton to another list, named this one “Blue-Eyed Soul,” felt bad for a moment about segregating my playlist, let laziness win over racial harmony and moved on with my life.

Enjoy.

(ALSO? Enjoy the fact that I finally figured out how to work the damned Grooveshark player AND the fact that we are debuting one of many of the brand-spankin’ new banners Lizzie and Isaiah have designed for us. And it’s not even your birthday….)

It Hurt So Bad – Susan Tedeschi
Sweet baby Jesus, y’all don’t wanna know how many times I played this on repeat in my room and hollered out the lyrics. You know that scene in Bridget Jones’s Diary where she’s all drunk and belting out “All By Myself”? Yeah…that might have happened with this song. Except I was probably drunk off Seven & 7’s…actually I most definitely was drunk off of Seven & 7’s. 2006 was a weird year…

Love is a Losing Game – Amy Winehouse
I can’t even make a joke about this one. Despite her place as a punchline for so many years, I really and truly believed that Amy Winehouse would pull out of her downward spiral and become amazing again. It still pains me that she didn’t…

Let Me Leave – Marc Broussard
I have no idea how I got Marc Broussard’s album, “Carencro,” but it’s one of my desert island albums. It’s also one of the few albums that Jethro and I agree on, so it makes for good driving music so there are less road trips conversations like this:

“God, really, Jethro? The Wall again?”
“I need something to counteract all your booty music.”
“It is SMOOTH R&B…how ’bout you put in some more Nickel Creek, that’ll put me to sleep and you don’t have to hear me bitch.”
“Or I can put in some more of your moaning and wailing girl music, like that damn Dixie Chicks “Let him fly” song you always have on repeat…”
“That is a PATTY GRIFFIN song, the Dixie Chicks COVERED IT!!”
“Whatever, it’s still crap.”
“YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, BLASPHEMER!”

We don’t travel often.

Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt
As much as I love Tank and Boyz II Men, their cover versions of this do not hold a candle to Bonnie. And anyone who says otherwise will need to meet me outside, after school, by the bike racks.

Someone to Love – Jon B.
I HAD to throw this one in. Oh, 90’s R&B, I love you to bits. Jon B was not particularly handsome or spectacularly talented, but he sounded like Babyface and that was enough for me.

Let It Be Me – Ray Lamontagne
This is another one of the artists Jethro and I agree on. His music is like Tom Waits music for me; when I hear it I automatically get in a certain frame of mind. But whereas Tom makes me feel like I should be on a bar stool, poking at my ice with a little red straw and wondering what the hell I did with my life; Ray makes me feel like I should be driving in the rain, pulling over on the side of the road for no reason and just staring out the window, watching as the fat drops fall.

Or something. I might be getting too maudlin here and should say something vaguely funny.

Balls.

*One day we might have a conversation about racial terms, commonly accepted norms and self-identifying. Today is not that day.

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Sad Bastard Songs: Folkies

I say folk, but I’m sure someone will correct me, but it’s close. I guess in a perfect world we’d have a better term for folk/rock/pop/blues-ish music…
However, in a perfect world, my mom would have realized that I was a massively mature 16 year old who deserved to go to Lilth Fair and Austin is NOT too far for me to go for a concert…. But it’s not perfect, is it, mom? IS IT?!?
But I’m fine. It’s fine…I’m over it. It’s fine….*sniff*

Train Song – Mindy Smith
I get the feeling that when he gets off that damn train, she’s gonna stab his a**.
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Sad Bastard Songs: Modern Soul

Nothing will set off Jethro and I faster than the other person jacking with the radio.  Jethro has a short attention span and likes to flip around or listen to talk radio.  I, on the other hand, will flip if I don’t like a song but generally will keep it on one station.  And that station is usually KRNB 105.7, smmmmoooooottttthhhhh R&B.  (You gotta say it all sexy like.)

He mocks me, but I love this damn station.  I listen to Steve Harvey in the morning and then I get my sexy on with Sean Andre on the drive home.  It’s my feel-good station and generally, baby-makin’ music is my feel-good music.  Even if it’s sad, “baby, baby, please COME BACK!” baby-makin’ music.

Can You Stand the Rain – Boyz II Men
Y’all know of my love for Boyz II Men. I know this is a New Edition song, but this one just breaks your heart.
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Sad Bastard Songs: Classic Soul

My father, a cranky Guyanese man we lovingly call the Tyrant, brought me up to appreciate good music. Well, more like he played good classic soul in the house on a regular basis and frequently told me my music sucked. (To be fair, it sort of did sometimes.) And so, because he blared Sam Cooke and Clarence Carter while mowing the lawn, the latter of which horrified my mom, I learned to listen to appreciate a lot of the greats. (Plus, playing “Strokin'” loud enough for the neighbors to hear and embarrass my mom? HI-LARIOUS.”)

So here are my favorite Sad Bastard classic soul songs. Hipsters think they have angsty pain music cornered, but these folks have been doing it and doing it better for years. And they don’t wear awful skinny jeans while doing it.

Little Anthony & The Imperials – Going Out of my Head
Oh, this one is one of those car songs that I get busted at the stop light with, belting out the lyrics and totally oblivious to the carful of teens staring in horror and amusement.
Suck it, kids. Me and Anthony, we got pain.


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Sad Bastard Songs: Your Song

Watch out, my darlings.  I’m gonna bring the party down a bit.

You know those songs that you hear and you’re like, “That’s my song!”  Not in the drunken “Ooo, girl, that’s my SONG!  Here, hold my purse…” but in the, “This describes everything perfectly RIGHT THIS MINUTE.”  Ever have some of those songs?  Here are some of mine.  Not currently applicable, but they always take me back..and apparently “back” is kind of a emo place.

[The links lead to videos off-site.  Embeds sometimes suck  and frankly I’m tired of dealing with them.  If someone knows how to do one of those embedded music player jukebox thingies, I will show you my boobies. Or bake you something or both.  Whatever, I’d be super grateful.] Read More

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Tunes to Breathe Heavily To

One of the things that make my run worth it is my music.  Whether it’s the driving beat or the encouraging music, these songs are my running buddies.

“Time Bomb”  and “Four Leaf Clover”  Old ’97’s –  I’m a Dallas kid, so the Old ’97’s are my people.  Although it makes me feel like I should be at a St. Paddy’s Day parade with my beer in hand.

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Sad Bastard Songs: The Covers

Oh, how I love cover songs.  Maybe it’s the feeling of the familiar made strange, maybe I appreciate an artist’s homage to the original, maybe I just fear change; but dear Lordy I love me some cover songs.

Good ones, of course.  The bad ones can die in a fire.

Here’s my list of Sad Bastard Songs: The Covers Edition.** Read More

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Sad Bastard Songs

Oh, dear God, I love sad bastard music.

That “draggin’ your heart on the ground, pain in my soul, so deep I might drown, dear baby PLEASE WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!?!?” kind of music.

It speaks to my inner broken self; the one that, even when things are going well, will always go, “Well yeah…but you could still lose it all and be ALONG. FOR-EV-ER.”

My inner broken self is like an angry Eyeore. With piercings who pretends they are a cutter.

So here are some of my favorite Super Sad Bastard Songs.  (There was supposed to be a music player widget here, but me and Grooveshark are in a fight.)  I maybe might have listened to any or all of these songs a’la Bridget Jones; kinda drunk and alone in my pj’s, belting out the lyrics and hoping the neighbors didn’t hear.

I probably shouldn’t admit stuff like that.  But we’re all friends here.

Try not to listen all the way through, though. And afterwards, go get a muffin and a hug.  It’ll help. Read More