I aspire, aspire, aspire…

Aspire is a funny word. It means not only to seek to attain a goal, but to also ascend and soar. Who doesn’t want to soar, to rise to the heavens and shine like a star? Well. As long as you don’t crash and burn.

I don’t aspire as often as I used to. I was an aspiring actress for a while, then an aspiring director and playwright. I guess I could be considered an aspiring writer, but everything I write get published online or turned in for an assignment…maybe an aspiring published in a real life book I wrote all by myself writer? Am I an aspiring mom since I’m growing Tater, and why don’t I like the sound of that? (The aspiring part. The mom part I’m getting used to.)

I know that I aspire to be more organized and clutter-free. That seriously might be a pipe dream. (I have PILES; deal with it, Jethro!)

I aspire to be a good poet to the best of my ability. I’m taking a poetry class this semester and I’ve already learned more from it than I’ve ever learned about poetry…well, pretty much ever.

I aspire to be someone who sends out occasion cards actually ON the occasion when it occurs.

I aspire to do more than just have good intentions when it comes to good deeds and works.

I aspire to be a good cook — one who can whip up a dish without hovering dangerous close to the stove with a print-out of an online recipe and cussing my lack of a citrus reamer and who eventually ends up ordering pizza.

I aspire to stop letting people make me feel bad about myself, especially when it’s due to their own issues. (As and the wonderful Katt Williams says, and Jethro likes to remind me when I’m being sensitive, “It’s called SELF-ESTEEM! It’s esteem of your motherf**kin’ self. How am I gonna f**k up how you feel about you?”)

I aspire to be the type of mom who remembers that crayon marks wash off, that screaming, jumping up and down excitement over candy or cartoons is always warranted and splashing around in rain puddles is worth being late to dinner for. I hope that I will always keep in mind, “God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt,” and “Possibly feed a fever, maybe starve a cold but always give them 7-up and cherry jello, even if they are all better.” I also pray that I remember that making out with their dad on a regular basis is much more important than ballet lessons or soccer practice.

Basically, I aspire to not suck. At least most of the time.

But what I really and truly aspire to be, in my heart of hearts?

Julia Sugarbaker.

She’s from Georgia, not Texas, but nobody’s perfect.

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11 comments on “I aspire, aspire, aspire…

  1. Beylit
    January 20, 2012 at 9:14 am #

    I think those are all excellent aspirations.

    I aspire to be Helen Miren. You know dream big or go home.

    • kindofamess
      January 20, 2012 at 11:00 am #

      Ooooo, you do dream big. She is amazing. If she and Ian McKellan made a baby, it would rule the world.

  2. Erin
    January 20, 2012 at 10:01 am #

    Damn girl. You aim high. Just don’t let me get on your bad side, Ms. Alyssa “Sugarbaker” Mess!

    • kindofamess
      January 20, 2012 at 11:04 am #

      I am a lady, but I will cut you.

      Well, not YOU. I like you. But the general populace.

  3. Torie
    January 20, 2012 at 2:27 pm #

    I’m British – I have no idea what the hell who Julia Sugarbaker is but having watched that I am now both terrified and in awe of you. You’re gonna make one badass mum

    • kindofamess
      January 20, 2012 at 2:43 pm #

      AWW, thank you!!
      We need to get you some Designing Women DVD’s STAT. Southern and oh so 80’s…you will drown in accents and shoulder pads.

      Also, do you think I can force the baby to call me “mum” and “mummy” instead of “mom” or “mommy”? If I can’t be British, I’d like to make my child at least pretend for me…

  4. Caitlin
    January 20, 2012 at 3:41 pm #

    You need an acquaintance named “Marjorie” to make this work. Baby girl name, possibly?? I kid 🙂

    I think it’s mostly enunciation… you could get there.

  5. sera
    January 20, 2012 at 8:04 pm #

    omg I love Julia Sugarbaker!! when I was growing up I always aspired to her eloquence!! and instead, I grew up to be the kind of girl who keeps her mouth shut in difficult situations and uses too many exclamation points!!! sigh.

    don’t forget in all your aspirations that you have to forgive yourself for not fully being everything you want to be all the time. not only do crayons wash off, etc, but it isn’t the end of the world if the recipe flops and you end up ordering pizza. somehow I can never forgive myself for ordering a pizza, but my husband looks at me and says, “who says you have to feed me?” He’s so sweet, but if it were up to him we’d live on pizza (frozen or delivery) and bread with hummus (assuming I’ve actually been to the store to acquire the hummus or frozen pizza).

  6. lizzie
    January 21, 2012 at 10:57 pm #

    Aspirations, miss Alyssa!

    I have far too many to achieve.

    You are going to be/do all those things and more.

  7. VNikol
    January 23, 2012 at 1:18 pm #

    Ha! You’re hilarious & I love this post. It made me laugh while reminiscing on all the things I aspire to be or started the aspiration and either gave up, realized it wasn’t what I wanted afterall or just accepted it wasn’t meant for me. And who doesn’t love the Sugarbakers! ; )

  8. heather
    January 25, 2012 at 11:53 am #

    Hi! Please email me, I have a question for you 🙂

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