The things we do for beauty.

Yesterday, I went to get a haircut and have my eyebrows done.  Both were getting a bit out of control.  In a fit of madness, I made an appointment at the local beauty college, thinking that since I had a good experience with a facial at the one in Fort Worth, the Dallas one might be good too, huh?

An hour and a half bad haircut later, (one that involved razoring my hair with a blade so dull that spoons would go, “Dude, seriously?”)  I went off to get my brow wax.

Turns out that even though you SAY “eyebrow wax” and it’s written on the paper as such, it can sometimes get confused with CHIN wax.

Yeah.  Seriously.

She put that warm wax on my chin and I damn near jumped off the bed and beat her with the tiny wooden stick. But I didn’t.  It’s just a mistake, right?

Know something funny that I learned?  When you put wax on something, you pretty much just have to RIP it off to get it off of whatever you put it on.  Yup, no wiping, no removal with special tonics, just RIP THAT PUPPY OFF.

And yet, I still tipped them both.

I’m still in a mood.

And probably on my way to growing that goatee.  (Anyone who says I already had one will be promptly SET ONE FIRE.)

Gimmee horrible salon stories.  Let’s commiserate.

Drinkin’ the sugar-free Kool-aid….

I did it.  After months of hemming and hawing….I joined Weight Watchers.

This is not a big deal.  I’m treating it like a big deal because otherwise I wouldn’t have a blog post right now, but in general, not a big deal.  I’ve done Weight Watchers before.  I even still have my bulky binder, cleverly disguised as a day planner and filled with magical numbers that compiled with an ancient formula passed down from thin person to thin person for generations.

Or at least that’s how the WW folks treated it.

They also used to say, “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.”  I think they just haven’t tried enough foods yet… Read More

Help the Cheerleader

So I have a friend named Jessica.  Y’all know her, she’s one of the stars of Awkward Embraces, a series I KNOW y’all are all still watching.  (You ARE, right?  Cause you need to be. )  But this isn’t about her Jessica.

Jessica also belongs to a group of funny amazing women called The League of Extraordinary Ladies.  They offer up reviews, advice, crafts nd info on conventions; all with a fun, geeky flair.  But this isn’t about them either.

This is about helping the cheerleader.

This is about a girl designated H.S. for her protection.  She needs protection because she is the victim of a crime by not only her attacker, but her school district nd the very adults charged with being the authority figures in her life.

I’m sure you’ve heard the case; the cheerleader who was kicked off the squad for refusing to do a cheer celebrating her attacker.  She subsequently sued the school for kicking her off the squad and her case was eventually refused to be heard by the appellate court.  In addition, H.S. has been ordered to pay the school district’s court costs, to the tune of $45,000.

I’m not going to argue the case on here.  Read here and make your own judgments.  However, Jessica and Theresa (the owners of “Help the Cheerleader”) say it best when they say, “Our opinion, regardless of the legal issues, is that this girl has been punished enough.”

Help the Cheerleader was started in order to help H.S. receive donations to cover her amount owed, as well as hopefully recoup some of her family’s own court costs. Because I know Jessica and I know what a good heart she has, I know this is legitimate.  HTC has been in contact with H.S.’s lawyer in order to set this donation site up right, so that H.S.’s family will be sure to receive the funds in the proper way.  This is all on the up and up, and done with nothing but compassion and concern for a girl to whom this never should have happened.

Think about donating, if you can.  Even if she doesn’t get her full amount covered, she will at least know that there are those would want to help her out.  Those who don’t know her but, if we could, would reach out, give her a hug and say, “We give a f*ck, sweetheart.  You didn’t deserve this.”

Help the Cheerleader.com

Video

Sad Bastard Songs: Your Song

Watch out, my darlings.  I’m gonna bring the party down a bit.

You know those songs that you hear and you’re like, “That’s my song!”  Not in the drunken “Ooo, girl, that’s my SONG!  Here, hold my purse…” but in the, “This describes everything perfectly RIGHT THIS MINUTE.”  Ever have some of those songs?  Here are some of mine.  Not currently applicable, but they always take me back..and apparently “back” is kind of a emo place.

[The links lead to videos off-site.  Embeds sometimes suck  and frankly I’m tired of dealing with them.  If someone knows how to do one of those embedded music player jukebox thingies, I will show you my boobies. Or bake you something or both.  Whatever, I’d be super grateful.] Read More

Kind of a Mess Interviews: Emily of Lemony Fresh

Emily (or Lemony as her boyfriend calls her, isn’t that cute?!?) of Lemony Fresh gets to go first as our “Kind of a Mess Interviews” because Emily is a go-getter.  She was the first to return her questionnaire AND she included a picture, which means she read all of it.

If we were in kindergarten and I was the teacher, Emily would have like 5 gold stars on her yellow pinafore right now.  Because she’d be wearing a yellow pinafore and it would be ADORABLE.

Fun fact about Emily that you (and she) didn’t know: Emily once stabbed a man who tried to snag a bite of her cheese enchiladas from La Nopalera in Jacksonville, Florida.  She’s not ashamed of it.
What would you do with large lottery winnings?

First, pay off my debt, then buy a house somewhere away from work (and buy my parents a house near it), and then take a trip to Paris.  After that, I’d be lying if I didn’t say the money would contribute to my fabric and magazine addictions.

What was your very first internet screen name?

Emo1987.  I think I was eight or nine.  My dad always called me Emo because he thought it was short for Emily.  It definitely did not have the same connotations then as it does now.  [Editor’s Note: Eight or nine?!?  God, I’m old…]

What is your favorite ensemble and what does it say about you? 

[Editor’s Note: I must interject here to say that when I saw this question, I totally thought it meant like your favorite cast ensemble, like Friends or something. I, apparently, am kind of dumb.  And watch too much TV.]

I don’t think I have an official favorite, but I really love wearing my faux-Mexican dress I bought at Macy’s on my last day of work there.  It’s double-gauze and too revealing to wear to work, so to me it says summer and freedom.  What does it say about me?  I guess that I buy overpriced dresses at Macy’s, but it’s just a fun dress.  (I’m wearing it at the zoo last year in my picture!)

What’s your earliest memory from your childhood that you can recall? 

Asking my parents if I killed my aunt’s dog because I fed it too many treats.  In reality, she had cancer, but I thought I had loved her too much.  Not only is this a morbid and depressing first memory, but I think this also says a lot about my guilt issues.

Do you call it “pop,” “soda” or coke? 

Soda, but I don’t call it often.  I prefer sweet tea or water.

Where would you like to travel? 

Paris, the Pacific Northwest, New England.  Really anywhere, I haven’t done a whole lot of traveling.

What is your biggest fear? 

Being out of control, whether at my job or in a relationship or whatever.  Also, I’m pretty damn terrified of lizards.

What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy day? 

Sew, read, bake, eat.  In that order usually.

What do you do better than ANYONE else in the world? 

Plan and organize.  When I was little I would just write lists—of the books I own, the American Girl dolls I wanted, the friends I had.  My closet is organized by color, brand, sleeve length, and date I bought it.  Right now, I’m planning my birthday party.  My birthday’s in September, and it’s only going to be a two-person party.  I just love planning.

You can have the beauty, brains and ability from three different famous people.  Who are they? 

Beauty—Marilyn Monroe (God, what an obvious answer).  Brains—Katherine Hepburn.  Ability—my mother.  That woman can do anything.

If you could ask me (Alyssa) anything, what would it be?  How did you become such a great advice-giver (adviser?)?  Seriously, every week it baffles me.

Alyssa – I fake it really really well.  I also ask for help when I need it.  But most of the time the advice is the same: be yourself, own your decisions and don’t be a twat.

The Jars of Lady B: Glass Painting

Starting off the “Jars of Lady B”** project, I went easy and used glass paint on them.  As Madge pointed out in the comments, a much more AWESOME medium would have been Liquid Rainbow, but it’s been discontinued.  *sniff*  So I made do with a glass painting set.

Glass paint kit

These were done on a very relaxing Saturday on my butt in my living room watching Buffy.  (Middle of Season 6, right around the good parts.  You know what I’m talking about…) Read More

C25k Update: A triumph and a let-down

 

So here’s the thing about this lovely C25k program.  I keep hearing stories about people quitting in Week 4 or 5 and I’m like, “WHY?  I’m liking this, I feel GREAT.”

Yeah. I found out why this weekend.

On Friday, after my lovely little “go team!” post, I ran Week 5/Day 2 which consists of two 8 minute runs with a 5 minute walk into between.  I’d been prepared for these and as such I decided to repeat the last days of Week 4 and Day 1 of Week 5 so that I might feel ready.  And so Friday, I was SO ready.  I was all, “Yeah.  Bring it.”

Y’ALL.  It got BROUGHTEN.  That sh*t was not as fun as I wanted it to be.  I mean, it’s only 8 minutes, but seriously, it was a bit of a beating around 6 minutes and 45 seconds.  My body was all, “DUDE, I wanna STOP,” and I was all “EFF YOU, WE’RE DOING THIS!”

So I did it.  And I was tired, but not broken.  And I was excited because I knew I’d be prepared for Day 3.  I would kick Day 3 in the butt.  I would do unspeakable things to Day 3.  I would OWN Day 3.

Until I looked at Day 3.

20 minutes, uninterrupted.

As in 20 minutes, no walking.

20 minutes of straight running.

SERIOUSLY?  TWENTY MINUTES?!?  I HATE YOU COUCH TO 5K!!!

But before I fell to my knees and started screaming, “NOOOOOOOO!!!!!” while shaking my fist at the sky, I stopped.  Yes, this would possibly suck.  But I’d spent 5 weeks not dying.  Longer than that, actually.  Was I REALLY going to let some stupid program make me lose that momentum?  Was I going to be beaten by a 20 minute run?  Did I spend all that time huffing and jiggling down a asphalt track to let a workout that I hadn’t even attempted best me?

NO, M’AM. Read More

C25k Update: Week 5…ish.

I have not sent out emails for our little C25k support group.  But that will happen soon….eventually.  Maybe…..  STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT, I’VE BEEN BUSY!

Anyway, I realized that  my C25k will not be a good way of charting how I do because I tend to repeat the previous week if I skip a day.  I’ve done the first part of week 5 the past three times, just so I don’t overdo it and blow my stride.  The best idea?  Maybe not, but this is about me building endurance, so I’m okay with this taking longer.  I’m so not losing any weight even though I’m trying to eat better (not very hard, but trying!) so this is just about me getting to the point where I can run my ass off and be awesome.  Even if I’m super jiggly while I do it.

[Sidenote: I don’t ever think I’ll not be super jiggly.  Is anyone NOT jiggly?  Who are these not jiggly people?  I don’t believe in them, they’re fake, like Chupacabra and polite teenagers.]

Right now I’m running for 5 minutes and walking for 3 minutes three times.  It’s been WAY easier than I thought, which makes me insanely happy.  I have a set path I like to take: the walking trail and park behind my old apartment complex.  When I first started this, I had this fear that I would one day hyperventilating and past out on the track.  The couples and moms with strollers would just pass by me, irritated that I’m taking up space, until some drunk college kid comes out of his apartment and finally calls the ambulance after throwing beer cans at my head didn’t wake me up… Read More

Link Love: One Pretty Thing

oneprettything***WARNING****  Crafty folks?  I’m about to blow your mind.

So, you know how you get into a DIY mood and you’re all, “Ooo, I want to make Blah,” or “I wish I knew how to do This.”  And then you spent ridiculous amounts of time searching through blogs and googling search terms until you just don’t feel like doing Blah or making This?

No?  Just me?

Anyway, I discovered a site a long time ago that I’m sure most of you know, but whatever, it’s my blog, go find something better to do if you don’t like it.  (I’m having a feisty week.  Might be my monthlies.)

 Anyway, the site is called One Pretty Thing and it’s kind of amazing.  Rachel combs through all those lovely blogs and websites and then categorizes the best crafts featured and makes them into a daily post.  Mornings are for the featured holiday,season or theme, such as Dia de los sMuertos, Glamping or Where the Wild Things Are.  Then the afternoon posts are chock full of Daily DIY, showing the best of the best from around the wide world web.  PLUS, on the weekends she showcases the best of reader submission AND another round-up.

Isn’t that nice of her? Read More

A project of sorts…

So my sister-in-law got married last month, (Hi Lady B.!!) and like most brides, when she was done with the wedding, she was DONE.  While we were cleaning up, we did a slash and burn with the decor; unless someone claimed it, it was trash or given away as she’s from Vegas and wasn’t about to take 45 tea light votives on her honeymoon.

My mother-in-law handed me a box of vases and asked me if I wanted them.  I was about to say no, but something in my life has changed.  Whereas before I would have declined due to space constraints or offered to drop the box off at Goodwill.  However, at this point in time, I am a blogger.  And as such, my immediate thought was, “Oooo.  I could post about this.”  (Anyone else afflicted with this disease?)

So, much to Jethro’s chagrin, I lugged a box of 12 clear glass cylinder vases home to sit in our corner and collect dust.  However, I have a plan.

I will attempt to do at least 12 crafty projects with these vases.  I am making no promises that they will be good, nor will I promise that these will be posted with any regularity.  (Unless one of y’all has some money to burn and want to be my patron.  Eh?  Eh??)

However, I am taking suggestions on these.  Should I paint it with glass paint?  (Say yes, because I already bought the paint.)  Fill it with Jello?  Grow something in it?  Let me know what you think!