The things we do for beauty.

Yesterday, I went to get a haircut and have my eyebrows done.  Both were getting a bit out of control.  In a fit of madness, I made an appointment at the local beauty college, thinking that since I had a good experience with a facial at the one in Fort Worth, the Dallas one might be good too, huh?

An hour and a half bad haircut later, (one that involved razoring my hair with a blade so dull that spoons would go, “Dude, seriously?”)  I went off to get my brow wax.

Turns out that even though you SAY “eyebrow wax” and it’s written on the paper as such, it can sometimes get confused with CHIN wax.

Yeah.  Seriously.

She put that warm wax on my chin and I damn near jumped off the bed and beat her with the tiny wooden stick. But I didn’t.  It’s just a mistake, right?

Know something funny that I learned?  When you put wax on something, you pretty much just have to RIP it off to get it off of whatever you put it on.  Yup, no wiping, no removal with special tonics, just RIP THAT PUPPY OFF.

And yet, I still tipped them both.

I’m still in a mood.

And probably on my way to growing that goatee.  (Anyone who says I already had one will be promptly SET ONE FIRE.)

Gimmee horrible salon stories.  Let’s commiserate.

32 comments on “The things we do for beauty.

  1. Ceej
    May 18, 2011 at 7:27 am #

    In the small town where I grew up, there weren’t a lot of places to go for good salon care. Mostly there were just barber shops and one nice salon allllll the way on the other side of town. So when I was in high school and had no job, my parents didn’t deem it worth the trip or the cost to go there. Instead, I got my hair cut at a place at the KMart. Yeah. There was a hair “salon” at the KMart. One time I went and got what should’ve been a simple trim. I guess I cocked my head to the side or something…? Because one side was at least an inch shorter than the other. Kind of like Jane in Daria, minus the cool not-caringness. I definitely cared. But I was a pansy who still couldn’t speak up to adults, so I just left like that. And had to pin up my [gorgeous] hair until it grew out. Pathetic.

    • kindofamess
      May 18, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

      Oh, you poor thing. High school is NOT the time for bad haircuts….

  2. Jenn
    May 18, 2011 at 7:29 am #

    AH! That’s so horrible!! I usually think beauty schools are a terrific deal but that makes me think twice.

    I went to the Toni and Guy school in London once, and got a great but unmaintainable haircut/style that took over 3 hours. I hadn’t arranged for time off work to do it either, because I thought it would only take an hour – my coworkers had to cover for me when my boss asked about what I was working on. I pretty much ruined the style running through the streets to get back to work without getting caught.

    • kindofamess
      May 18, 2011 at 4:22 pm #

      I refuse to be styled in salons just for that reason, it takes forever and then you can’t ever do it again. And later you’re like, “Oh yeah, remember that one day when I was super hot and had cute hair? That was a good day…”

  3. Zan
    May 18, 2011 at 7:41 am #

    You say terrible, I say HILARIOUS.

    • kindofamess
      May 18, 2011 at 4:27 pm #

      That’s because YOU’RE terrible. Terrible, awful, horrible.

      And hilarious.

  4. Ariel
    May 18, 2011 at 7:57 am #

    I went to the local beauty school with just over chin-length hair. I came out with an uneven, choppy (not in a good way) semi-mullet cut. But here’s the thing. The student that was cutting my hair did exactly what I wanted. The instructor/owner told her, in the thickest, scariest, russian accent, that it was a horrible job and started hacking at my hair before I could throw money at the student and flee. Two hours later I went to Great Clips to get it fixed by another scary russian accent and returned to work the next day with a pixie cut. Luckily, I was required to wear a cowboy hat so the damage could be hidden during work hours.
    No war stories about waxing beyond having a bikini wax and eyebrow both done crooked with lots of wax residu that wasn’t discovered until I tried to undress later. I don’t do waxing anymore.

    • kindofamess
      May 18, 2011 at 4:28 pm #

      I love what you DON’T mention in this comment; like why you had TWO scary Russians attacking your head and why you were required to wear a cowboy hat….

  5. Caitlin
    May 18, 2011 at 8:24 am #

    Oh dear lord! What a hilariously awful day! Recently, being mostly penniless, I went to the local Aveda school for a haircut. I really just wanted a trim, no big deal. It seemed okay… until I asked for a bit of face framing. In response to that, the girl cut a chunk off– on ONE side– and was all like “okay, there you go!” and I was too much of a wimp to say anything. I haven’t worn my hair down in public since that day, because from the front it looks like I have a 5 inch difference in the length of my hair on each side. I think I’ll be heading to a non-training kind of place soon.

    • kindofamess
      May 18, 2011 at 4:29 pm #

      I hate that. Because we dont’ say anything, they’ll probably keep doing it to people until someone blows up at them and they’re like, ‘EVERYONE ELSE LOVES IT!!!”

  6. Nicole
    May 18, 2011 at 8:35 am #

    When I was in undergrad, my mom offered to pay for my annual haircut if I went to her stylist. I didn’t figure it would be a big deal, free hair cut and both my parents used her. An hour later, I had the shortest hair, the worst bangs, and lots of layers… once being about an inch long. I cried and tipped her and then went to a bridal show.

  7. Meghan
    May 18, 2011 at 8:41 am #

    A good friend had bunion surgery and was in a boot cast hobbling along for several weeks feeling bad about herself. To make herself feel a little better she booked an eyebrow wax at the beauty school. Well, sad story short, they burned her eyebrows. So not only was she hobbling along after bunion surgery she had two very scabby eyebrows.

    • kindofamess
      May 18, 2011 at 4:33 pm #


      I had an upper lip incident that I successfully blamed on a flat iron. Apparently I’m ditzy enough that people will easily buy that I burned my lip with a heat styling tool…

  8. ddayporter
    May 18, 2011 at 8:44 am #

    aww MAN that’s hilarious. but awful. I have always been wayyy too chicken to get ANYthing waxed in a salon, but I have definitely had my share of bad haircuts. mostly because I go to cheap places and never go to the same stylist twice. my one spa experience was kind of a nightmare – in college, a couple friends chipped in to get me a day at the spa, including a soak in a hot tub, a back and foot massage, and a facial. sounds awesome right? well the steam in the hot tub room was so thick and full of hot tub chemicals, my eyes were burning so much, I had to jump out of the tub several times to stick my face in my towel (also, 10 mins alone in a hot tub is nice. 30 mins is kind of sad). by the time they came to get me to my next appointment, I was almost crying. then the back and foot massages were kind of weak and disappointing. and THEN the facial was more like a full-on assault. my skin was pretty clear before going in, I left greasy and covered in red pimples, in an extreme amount of pain. I was so shell-shocked walking out of there, I completely forgot to tip her.

    • kindofamess
      May 18, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

      “10 mins alone in a hot tub is nice. 30 mins is kind of sad”

      I never realize it before, but THAT IS SO TRUE!!

  9. Anna
    May 18, 2011 at 8:48 am #

    OMG if someone put wax on my chin, they would get a can of whoop-ass so fast they wouldn’t know what hit them.
    (Sorry. Had to get my Brooklyn upbringing out of my system.)

    My first ever trip to a hair salon for anything was before my high school prom. The salon came recommended by a relative, so I thought it would be fine. Apparently, the hairstylist woman had no clue what to do with curly hair. All I wanted was a simply curly updo, which I thought would be easy since my hair already naturally curled. But no. First, the woman straightened my hair (which was very long, so that took forever), and then she curled it back up. Then she sprayed my head with a gallon of hair spray. The day after the prom, five repeats of shampoo later, I realized that half the length of my hair was literally BURNED.

    I was so traumatized by this experience that I did not go back to a hair salon for another four years. And when I did, I had very specific instructions for my hairdresser to keep all blowdryers and curling irons far away from my head.

    • kindofamess
      May 18, 2011 at 4:34 pm #

      Lord, pretty much everyone I know has a prom incident, but none that have done lasting damage. That SUCKS….

  10. goodtastehealthyme
    May 18, 2011 at 9:06 am #

    lol omg that sounds awful. One time, in a fit of madness, I thought chopping off my hair was a good idea. It was super short…didn’t have a ton of style and I looked like a man. I sobbed afterwards. Great.

    • kindofamess
      May 18, 2011 at 4:35 pm #

      It’s so freeing to chop your own hair…and then horrifying. Like jumping off a roof or something…

  11. Rowan
    May 18, 2011 at 9:43 am #

    I still tipped the lady who literally gave me a mullet (when I asked for a trim). I was in tears too. I’m not sure why I feel like I must tip even with atrocious service. I guess I always feel like I’d rather feel guilty for giving money than for stiffing someone.

    • kindofamess
      May 18, 2011 at 4:35 pm #

      Me too. I know I’m supposed to let my tip speak for the service, but what if they have sick kids at home and that’s why she sucks!??

  12. Ms. Bunny
    May 18, 2011 at 10:23 am #

    When I was sporting a pixie in high school there were a few trips to different salons or different stylists than my normal one. Those never ended well. Many tears shed over too short haircuts.

    I. CANNOT. BELIEVE. SHE. PUT. WAX. ON. YOUR. CHIN. I’d have murdered her on the spot.

    • kindofamess
      May 18, 2011 at 4:14 pm #

      I’m still pretty pissed. And I noticed this afternoon that one eyebrow is shorter than the other….

  13. lizzie
    May 18, 2011 at 10:56 am #

    you know ALL ABOUT my f*cking terrible stories. I haven’t had a good haircut in Texas yet. I miss city style, ALYSSA! You’re making me miss it more! Let’s just start an alliance of secret hair stylists that have AWESOME style and talent…and we’ll hoard the list so they don’t get too popular and drive prices up. Let’s go ahead…and do that now….yeah?

    • kindofamess
      May 18, 2011 at 4:17 pm #

      AHHH! I can’t believe I haven’t told you before, but you totally need to go to my best friend’s cousin! (No, seriously, I didn’t just make that up.) His name is Jeff and he works at Shelton’s on Hulen. He’s the one that cute my hair from below my butt to what it is now. He’s been doing hair since he was 17 and he teaches, I LOVE him.

      Put him on the list!

  14. Jenny
    May 18, 2011 at 1:44 pm #

    I’ve had my share of terrible cuts, thats for sure. But the waxing brought up a memory for me. I too get my eyebrows waxed (when I have the $ of course) and one time I went to a new nail salon that did waxing. The girl put wax over my ENTIRE eyebrow, I silently had a panic attack because hello, I don’t want to have no hair! Well she ended up seperating the hair she was going to pull out away from the rest of it and I still had eyebrows when I left. But, talk about having a heart attack.

    And if one more waxing lady asks me “you want lip done too?” I’m gonna punch her. Because, no I do not want to start growing a mustach like a man thank you very much. And, I don’t think I need to have my lip done.

    • kindofamess
      May 18, 2011 at 4:17 pm #

      I KNOW! I almost thought she was trying to tell me something.

      And I’m impressed she was able to separate, that’s kinda cool.

  15. Lydia
    May 18, 2011 at 2:34 pm #

    I have learned my lesson about going to random salons to get waxed. ALWAYS ask a friend for a recommendation for a place and a stylist who knows what they are doing. And before any wax take enough advil to kill a small animal.

    Sorry about your goatee but that made me laugh.

    • kindofamess
      May 18, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

      I usually do my own at home, I just wanted someone who I thought would be better and faster.

      I was wrong. Oh, so wrong….

  16. ElfPuddle
    May 19, 2011 at 12:27 pm #

    I only have one bad salon story, and it’s all my fault.
    At the end of my 8th grade year, I had hair down past my waist — the kind of long you have to move before you sit down so you don’t sit on your hair and break your neck. I overheard the stupid boy that I had a crush on tell his friend that I looked like a sheepdog. So that night, I begged my mom to take me to our hairdresser and let me chop it off. She said, “It’s your hair, so we’ll go, but I think it’s a bad idea.” The hairdresser was heartbroken, but did it. My hair ended right below my ears. I was the talk of the school, and people liked it, but I HATED it! I looked awful in all my pictures, and was terribly unhappy. Then I got a perm. My once-beautiful hair looked like a fuzzy marching band hat in dishwater blonde. I’ve not had a perm since, and nothing more than a trim.

    I’m sorry you’re unhappy with yours. At least you don’t look like a marching band kid wearing only part of your uniform.

  17. Sarah
    May 19, 2011 at 8:08 pm #

    So, I didn’t really have a story … and then I went for a haircut tonight. I asked for a 2-3 (and thought 3 was pushing it on the short side) inch trim, I GOT a 6 inch chop.

    So now I sit her crying with my awkward 14-year-old-who’s-growing-out-her-hair style, and guess what? I blame you.

    At least we can now commiserate together.

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