And I’m back!  Mostly.  A big thank you to everyone for so many nice emails and general thoughts. Things are way better than they were and I’m not gonna pretend that so many lovely people thinking sweet thoughts didn’t have anything to do with it…

A little bit of a change; we’re moving to a three times a week posting schedule, with maybe a few pithy posts in-between.  (Cause y’all know I can’t keep my mouth shut for long….)  But I want what goes up to be good and not just filler because I think I have to post daily.  It’s not like I’m hurting for content; in fact, I have enough Kind of a Mess Interviews that I could just put those up for a month or two and be fine, but that’s not fair.  Y’all took the time to answer those questions so I should at the very least take time to be present when they’re run.  But we’re going to have a few fun things (giveaway!!!) coming up, so you’ll forgive me for being a bit more silent on here.

Also, I haven’t been active on Twitter, and that’s partially because I’m busier at work and can’t really play on my phone like I used to and partially because SWEET BABY JESUS, CAN Y’ALL TALK!!!  I’m serious, I have a hard time keeping up what’s going on…

Anyone else have that problem?

Am I just getting old?


“Back in MY day, we had chat rooms!  None of this tweety twatty twit thing…  When you wanted to get fancy, we used ICQ and we LIKED IT!!”

Anyway….today, let’s talk about balance a bit.  I need to find a little more balance in my life, so I can play with my internet friends AND have an offline life…because right now I suck at both.

How do y’all find balance?  With anything – friends vs. family, job vs. partner, budget vs. Ebay… (Don’t act like I’m the only one with a problem.  I usually get outbid and that’s fine, but sometimes it bites me in the butt…like last week, when I became the proud owner of 24 mini bottles of OPI’s Nail Envy.  *sigh*)

Do I need to employ more regimentation in my life?  Should I schedule my blog writing time, my blog reading time, my craft making time?  Or is that going to turn me into a fuss-bucket drone?  (Can you be a fuss-bucket AND a drone?  Maybe?  C3PO?) Did I just use “regimentation” in the wrong context?  I use TeuxDeux and loads of post-it’s to keep organized, but what other programs do y’all use?

Does it get worse when you have kids?  I know we’ll have to be on their schedule so that solves a lot of my issues:   “What do I have to next?  I have to– Nevermind.  Apparently I have to unclog the toilet, get a Tonka truck out of the chimney and then try to get peanut butter off the dog.”

Those damn kids aren’t even conceived yet and they’re already grounded…

Anyway, how do y’all find balance?  And how do you manage everything you have to do in the day? And mostly importantly, HOW ARE YOU?

30 comments on “Heeellllloooo!

  1. Chantal
    September 26, 2011 at 8:20 am #

    Balance? Is that even real? I have no time for anything anymore. Facebook has forgotton what I look like, twitter won’t tweet me anymore and my phone is now a glorified rolodex. (Just ask Dad; I got another “hello, are you alive?” message the other day from him).
    But I look forward to reading your posts while eating breakfast with one hand and applying mascara with the other. So please keep it up and seek this so called balance that has eluded me. Opps, gotta go. Nixon is feeding the dog baby powder and has given his stuffed bunny a chocolate milk bath.

    • kindofamess
      September 26, 2011 at 3:51 pm #

      Ugh, Facebook and I broke up, I think it’s having drinks with Livejournal and talking about what a bitch I am for dumping them…

      And Nixon feeding the dog baby powder and throwing chocolate milk everywhere would be ADORABLE. Because he’s gorgeous. And not mine, so I don’t have to clean that shit up.
      Althought tell him we’re still in a fight for him spitting up in my bra.

      Also? Dad was very glad you called, he told Mom and I think she was a little jealous. 🙂

  2. Beylit
    September 26, 2011 at 8:40 am #

    Hooray for your glorious and triumphant return…or something.

    I am not sure I have managed balance. I mostly try and just set aside a certain time a day to do certain things in. My first couple of hours at the office are typically internet time, as is the first hour after dinner and chores are done. Of course I have a ridiculously lax and boring job which allows me such luxuries. So that keeps the internets from cutting too much into social real people time. It helps that my social real people time normally happens out at faire where there are no internets.

    Oh and I don’t sleep. That always helps keeping me from getting behind on anything should I want to go out and be social instead of doing my stuff on the internets.

    • kindofamess
      September 26, 2011 at 3:52 pm #

      SLEEP! I KNEW I was doing something wrong…

      And the few tiems I’ve been totally off the grid, it sucked for about 12 hours and then it was GLORIOUS. Maybe I need more internet vacations…

  3. Katie Jane
    September 26, 2011 at 8:49 am #

    First of all, even though I don’t always comment, I DO always read your blog, and I’m so glad you’re back! Yay! I was so excited to open my reader this morning and see a blog from you.

    Second, what is “balance”? What is this word? I do not understand. (Which is to say, I’ll enjoy reading other people’s comments and taking notes. Because I majorly fail in the balance department.)

    • kindofamess
      September 26, 2011 at 3:56 pm #

      Thanks!! I got nervous that people might forget me and be all, “BAH! Delete her from my reader! She whines and infrequently posts.”

      And I think we’re both screwed, it looks like NOBODY has a handle on this balance thing. Which makes me wonder why we chase it so hard if nobody ever gets it….it’s mythical, like the perfect pair of boots or tasty low-calorie cake.

  4. Heather G
    September 26, 2011 at 8:57 am #

    Helllooo to you, too!!

    I think it’s a balance to have balance, honestly. When I think about what “balance” means it’s constant subtle movement to give equal time what’s balancing. And really, because it’s only possible to balance a few things really well, I have learned that balancing a ton of things at once does not work. So some things have to go. It’s also a constant practice. And for a while, it has to be really intentional, like, “Ok, I’m going to force myself to put aside this time for X activity because I want to do this.” But I think it can be done. At least I’m hoping. I feel more balanced now than I ever have, but I’m also not as far along on my dissertation as I’d like to be. And I’m really quiet on the internets, since I’m at my new position. I don’t have time and I get totally engaged in the conversation and then I really can’t focus on what I’m doing. So, I haven’t been on twitter or fb or reading blogs that often (except yours and APW because it shows up in my inbox!).

    Oh, and I don’t turn on the tele that much, except for Thursday nights to watch Project Runway with some gal pals. Sports are usually on in the background when Mike is home, but otherwise it’s not on. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those, kill your tele types, either. I like getting sucked into a show (Ahem, I am a huge Buffy fan, after all)! I just realized I didn’t like it as much as catching up with girlfriends and family on the phone, making dinner with Mike, reading blogs, reading books, etc.. And I couldn’t do all of those in the precious few hours we have between work and bed (because I’m HUGE into sleeping 8 hours per night).

    Oh, and I neglect my blog, too. Ha. But it’s also not a priority right now, so I’ve let it go until I have a moment here and there and I feel OK with that.

    So, there you have it. Don’t blog, get on the interweb, or watch TV and you, too can have balance! hahahaha.

    Ummmm, yeah…I promise I’m a fun person in real life.

    • kindofamess
      September 26, 2011 at 4:01 pm #

      You ARE fun!! I think so, so it must be true because I am never wrong.

      I might need to get more sleep and maybe that will help my energy during the day and then I’ll get more done. My TAP-3 has helped with the sleep and headaches (mostly, but that’s another post…) but I probably need to get more sleep in general.

      Also, did I mention I did a Buffy re-watch and THEN all 5 seasons of Angel? I had messed up dreams sometimes, but it was GLORIOUS.

  5. ElfPuddle
    September 26, 2011 at 9:19 am #

    Yay for you showing up in my inbox!!!

    Balance? I’ve discovered that if you’re unemployed or underemployed, you have a LOT more time to do things. So there’s that. sigh. When I had a busy job, I reminded myself that balance is not a constant thing. Tightrope walkers sway as they move forward…balance is sometimes giving in to one thing and sometimes to another and as long as you don’t fall, you’re good.

    • kindofamess
      September 26, 2011 at 4:03 pm #

      “Tightrope walkers sway as they move forward…balance is sometimes giving in to one thing and sometimes to another and as long as you don’t fall, you’re good.”

      THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST THING I’VE HEARD IN WEEKS. Maybe if I learn to sway more, I’d stop freaking out about not having balance.

      YOU, my dear, are a GENIUS! I should hire you as my life coach, but I can only pay you in baked goods.

      • ElfPuddle
        September 26, 2011 at 4:34 pm #

        I will happily accept baked goods. Or rather, PapaMonkey would, since I don’t bake and he has a sweet tooth. 🙂
        (Boy can just bake for himself, I figure.)

        • kindofamess
          September 26, 2011 at 4:52 pm #

          Wait….does this mean YOU don’t have a sweet tooth? If so, we might have to break up…
          (I typed this while eating a piece of dark chocolate, swear to God….)

          • ElfPuddle
            September 26, 2011 at 5:00 pm #

            I don’t have a sweet tooth. Please don’t break up with me. I am a chocoholic; I just like potatoes and gravy more. Also, I drink a LOT of Coke Zero, so I have little room left for sugary snacks. I also put lots of Splenda in my tea, and love a good milkshake….
            See, we can still be friends.

            • kindofamess
              September 26, 2011 at 5:23 pm #

              As the wife of someone who would rather eat ‘taters than pretty much everything else, I can’t find fault with this.
              Also? Coke Zero is da bomb, yo. Suck it, Diet Coke.

  6. d-day
    September 26, 2011 at 10:44 am #

    yayyyy!! good morning!

    I struggle with finding balance too – as you may or may not have noticed, the thing suffering for this right now is my blog. but having a smartphone really has helped me since I can catch up on twitter while I walk the dog or ride the metro, and not have to sit at the computer to do it. because yeah, our tweeters can TALK. I love it but it can definitely be hard to keep up with.

    • kindofamess
      September 26, 2011 at 4:08 pm #

      I love everyone on Twitter, so it’s not their fault; but sometimes when I read Twitter I feel like I’ve walked into a party that’s been going on for hours and I’m so behind that I just leave.

      Plus, my tweets are always way long, so it takes me forever to respond. 🙂

      • craftosaurus
        September 27, 2011 at 8:39 am #

        Yes, this. If I’m paying attention to Twitter and step away for a couple hours, it’s like WOAH. I mean, the conversations going on at awesome, but holy overwhelming, Batman.

        In general, I pretty much feel like I’m always dropping the ball in one area at any given time. Like right now, for example, the house is reasonably clean, I’ve blogged pretty regularly, and I have plans to get together with friends I haven’t seen in ages. But I haven’t worked out in weeks.

  7. Kerry
    September 26, 2011 at 11:06 am #

    Balance…just one more thing to worry about. (PS where are all the DUDES worrying about things like balance? I want to find some)

    I find the best way to have balance while still finding time for the dumb, pointless things I *enjoy* is by breaking up my day into time increments. For instance – from 11:00 to 11:15 I get to play on my phone/internet, and can do whatever I want and not feel guilty, but then at 11:15 I have to change tasks, and make that dreaded phone call. But at 1:30 I get internet time again, so no need to cry.

    Also, so happy you’re back and THANK YOU for your comment on my blog today. it must have taken a long time and you need to know how much I appreciated it.

    • kindofamess
      September 26, 2011 at 4:17 pm #

      I think Jethro *might* worry about balance, but I’m so bajiggity about it that I worry enough for both of us….maybe that’s part of balance, giving it to HIM to shoulder for a while…
      Then again, he’d just put it down and go play Gears of War 3, so maybe that’s not a good idea.

      And you are SO welcome for the comment. I had a neurotic moment the second after I hit “submit” and was all, “ACK! That’s TMI! She didn’t even ask for all that! You’re being preachy!!” so this makes me feel better. And definitely feel free to email me if you have questions or just need someone to make sympathetic noises…

  8. beckymochaface (@beckymochaface)
    September 26, 2011 at 1:40 pm #

    I get to what I can. And if I don’t get to everything I’m learning to let it go. Because I’m racing to finish knitting a blanket for my niece who will be arriving any day I have less time to work on my blog. And I’m okay with that because my niece is more important to me than my blog. It’s still a lesson I have to re-learn every day.

    • kindofamess
      September 26, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

      Ooo, very good point. I feel like I should KNOW this already, which is part of my problem..

  9. Ali
    September 26, 2011 at 1:50 pm #

    Honestly, until last week I felt like I was doing great if I could keep myself and my little boy fed. Anything else was just gravy. Now, though, I’m trying to do blog posting and reading in the morning, chores in the afternoon, with breaks for cooing at the baby or going on a walk. I still haven’t figured out how to add cooking dinner into all of that…

    • kindofamess
      September 26, 2011 at 4:32 pm #

      Dude, having seen pictures of your baby on your blog, I’m surprised you get ANYTHING done. SO PRECIOUS, I just want to zerbert that belly….

  10. Kristy
    September 26, 2011 at 2:28 pm #

    Well, I kind of quit blogging. Still reading & commenting, but not actually posting. I don’t feel like I have things that I want to share right now, so my blog & I have been on a 6-month break. We’ll see what happens with that. Other internet things usually happen while at work. Things are manageable at work these days, so that means blog reading/tweeting/rare facebooking happen between 9am and 5pm. After that, it’s mostly turned off.

    I feel like watching less tv helps, too. I’m trying to watch less, and let me tell you: not having a DVR anymore has helped immensely with that. I don’t find myself trying to carve out time to catch up on shows anymore because I don’t even know what’s happening on them to begin with. If I see them, I see them, and if I don’t, I don’t.

    That’s all I got, though. I don’t know how to balance anything else. (Yet.) (Maybe.)

    PS – I missed you and I’m glad you’re back.

    • kindofamess
      September 26, 2011 at 4:34 pm #

      Jethro is so TV addicted that I find myself watching shows I don’t even LIKE. I yelled at him the other day for fast-forwarding through “Sons of Guns.” WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

      I miss you too, happy hour very soon?

  11. Madge
    September 27, 2011 at 3:40 am #

    welcome back! glad things are better for you!

    i also have no real sense of balance in my life. every now and again i make a MASSIVE list of all the things i have to do in the month (including cleaning the oven and tidying out the garage) and endeavour to strike some things through. about two days later this list is oppressive and nowhere near being done i have to remake the list with “make dinner” and “go to sleep before midnight” and be done with it.

    i feel a real obligation to be busy and see friends after work (along with other post-work things like driving lessons and whatnot, but if i don’t make friends a priority, i won’t ever see them) but after about three weeks of chokablock THINGS after work, there is no washing done and i am near a breakdown (seriously. i get all shaky in my insides) and then i need a week OFF (to just do chores and sleep before midnight) and then i feel bad for neglecting my friends. and so the cycle repeats.

    i cannot remember the last time i watched something on TV (rather than a laptop) and/or wasn’t doing three things at the same time.

    on good days, i think “i have a VIBRANT life, rather than unbalanced”. on bad days i try and spot puppies or cats on the way to work.

  12. Jo
    September 27, 2011 at 8:27 am #

    Yay, you’re back! I have no answers, but joy that you’re around to play with again. 🙂

  13. nikki
    September 27, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    I may be in the minority, but I started my blog because I needed a space to write, so I don’t freak out terribly if my following ebbs and flows (as it will) when I get busy, or, on the other side, super inspired. That may also be why I don’t have hundreds of readers, but there you go.

    Same deal with Twitter – if I sign on and there’s a hot debate/lenghty discussion going on, I just post what I wanted to post and then get outta there. If I can’t catch up in a quick, one-minute scan, I’m not gonna.

    This was probably not helpful at all, but if it makes you feel better, I read with the same point of view that I write with! And that is, in a nutshell, when you have something to say, you’ll blog it, and I’ll read it, and we’ll all continue to go on our merry way, vaguely caring about one another without you know, a lifetime commitment or anything. xoxo

    • nikki
      September 27, 2011 at 1:39 pm #

      oh and also? make lists. and write down things you’ve already done so you can cross them off immediately and feel like wonder woman.

  14. Natalie B.
    September 27, 2011 at 3:22 pm #

    Welcome back! Love seeing you in my inbox!

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