1. When someone else is in the car when one of my jams comes on. Sometimes you need to yell out the lyrics “Shoop” and the only other people you want around you are Salt and Pepa.
2. When I go to a public bathroom and don’t realize until I’m done that some one else was in there. Not because of anything either one of us might have been doing in there, (have we learned nothing?) but because I’m suddenly gripped with the irrational fears. “Was I just talking to myself? I think I might have just been talking to myself. Oh God, I’ve had the Thong Song stuck in my head all day, was I just SINGING that?? I might have been…wait, am I saying THIS out loud?!? AHHH!”
3. Debates over tipping. LOOK. If someone is classified as a tipped worker, by most wage laws, employers don’t have to pay them minimum wage, so that 3 bucks you failed to tip on your Moons Over My Hammy could have been more than they make an hour. Stop being cheap and always tip 20%. If you can’t afford the extra money for a tip, go somewhere where you don’t have to. If someone doesn’t do a good job, shorting them will do nothing but make them more surly for the next people because they’re even more worried about paying rent. Talk to a manager if they’re that bad, but don’t be a cheap bastard.
4. Dirtgirlworld. It scares the bejeezus out of me. I like the green vegan message for kids, but the eyes….OH DEAR GOD, THE EYES…
5. People who say they don’t read. What? You don’t…how do you not….WHAT??