“Jesus, Ally, when was the last time you emptied the lint trap on the dryer?”
“Uh oh. Poop threat level Orange.”
“Stop telling me these things, Jethro. We’re not that close.”
“That’s fine, but I still don’t think the dog should see you naked.”
“Whatever. Hot Karl and the Blumpkins is an amazing name for a band.” [Editor’s Note: if you Google that, you do so at your own risk.]
“If I have to watch another episode of Ice Road Truckers, I will make that remote and your prostrate romantically involved.”
“You can’t order African babies like you order chicken at Church’s, sugar.”
“Dog, your breath smells like a bag of assholes.”
“For someone who doesn’t like dirty hippies, you sure do walk around without your pants on an awful lot.”
“Shame SHAME is your name, Neil Diamond!!”
For those interested in what Neil Diamond did:
I think Jethro’s statement was appropriate.
*I know that’s not right. Don’t be that guy who emails me about incorrect conjugation. Nobody likes that guy.