9 more weeks? Sh*t.

Ah, pregnancy.  Between growing a tiny human, work, class and trying to make Jethro do the dishes more than once a week (I mean, REALLY, son?) my second trimester was busy.  And fun, though I wish I’d realized how fun it was at the time.  Seriously, I could be 6 months pregnant for the rest of my life and be perfectly fine with it.  Your belly is showing but still small enough to maneuver around, your energy is up, you’re fairly perky even when you’re tired…I was in love with being pregnant. **

Then came month 7. *sigh*

And things slowed down at work and with school, thank goodness.  And instead of picking up the slack I left off in the last few months, I’ve been awful…cocoon-y.  I mean I do things, but when I’m not doing something, I am indulging myself in Not Doing A Damn Thing.  It feels guilty, but I just can’t work up the urge to care about much other than staring at the ceiling fan sometimes.  I’m waiting for the nesting urge to set in, the baby’s room still needs to be done and those walls aren’t going to decorate themselves.  Then again, the baby won’t give a damn about his room probably until he’s 5 or 6, so the decorating is mostly for Jethro and I.  And so we don’t get pitied when people see how bare the room is and think we hate our child.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still very excited to be pregnant and to have Tater.  But my theatre kids will get me when I say that it’s like the week before tech week in a show.  You’re off book, you know your blocking and all you have to do is keep rehearsing until tech week, where things will get new and exciting and you’ll finally see your show come together.  But the week before tech week just BLOWS.  Even though you still love the show, you’re just TIRED of it.  You’re not ready to perform but you’re itching to take that next step…which you can’t do to the best of your ability without this last week of rehearsals.  So you keep going, you wait, you fake enthusiasm when people ask, “How’s the show!??”  and you try not to stab your fellow cast member because OH MY GOD, you do you HAVE to breathe like that backstage EVERY NIGHT?

For those of you who didn’t get that, i.e. everyone except like four of you, I’m antsy and tired.  Hence the need to cocoon and stay off the internet because who really wants to hear me whine three times a week?  And believe me, this is whining, so no giving me sympathy.  Making a baby is hard work, but there are people out there who are just as far along as me with WAY more responsibility and problems that are getting along just fine and blogging every day and just generally being the same as they were sans-baby gut.

Heifers.

Anyway, enough with the whining!  If y’all wanted that, you’d be trolling LiveJournal and looking for people with animated icons of purple dragons crying a single sparkling tear with Muse lyrics flashing at the bottom who post about how much they hate their parents and how no one truly gets their Twilight fanfic.

A few new developments in babyland:

We had a second sonogram and he’s STILL not a pony.  The rotten child wouldn’t give us a good profile but had NO problem showing us that he was still a boy.  But we did find out he has thick chunky legs and hair on the back of his head, but not the top.

So thick legs and a mullet with an attitude and a propensity to flash his junk as much as possible.

I’m not having a baby OR pony; I’m having a Whitesnake roadie.  *sigh*

I’d been convinced that Tater was breech still because I hadn’t felt anything above my belly button in terms of kicking.  Turns out I was kinda right; he’s head down but folded in half so his feet are up around his head.  I’d been getting a LOT of cervical kicks, but apparently they were less kicks and more punches.

Yes, my child has been punching me in the vag for the last few months.

I know he’s a fetus and all, but it still feel very RUDE.  And awkward when he does it hard enough to make you jump and the person whose document you’re notarizing is all, “You okay?” and then you have to say, “Oh, just the baby!” and not mention that said-baby just upper-cutted your no-no from the inside and they’re all, “Oh, you’re pregnant?” and then you hate everything and everybody for about fifteen minutes.

Ahem.

Anyway.  Baby.  Folded in half, so no rib kicks.  I’m sure he’ll tuck his legs up as he gets bigger, but we’ll see.  I’m just more concerned that, now that he can see inside the womb, he’s spending major fetal development staring at his dong the whole time.  That can’t be healthy…  Also, when he has the hiccups (which is like every other day and is the craziest feeling,) he’d probably kneeing himself in the face…  Just seems like the kind of thing that sets the stage for him to be the guy wearing Greek letters and holding a bottle of R&R while hanging out of a convertible on his way to Senor Frog’s and screaming, “WOOOOOOOOOO! CLASS OF ’32 RULES!!!”

Lord help me.

And speaking of kicks, child has got some FORCE now.  Jethro was trying to hear the heartbeat the other day and kept getting kicked in the face.  You can see them from the outside now, which is fun, but Tater still has some Michigan J. Frog tendencies; he’ll do some crazy kick  thing while I’m laying down that will bounce a book off my stomach, but the second I put Jethro’s hand there to feel…nothing.  This monkey dances for NO ONE.

Physically, I’m good, just TIRED.  Working around this stomach isn’t too much harder than it has been, but things are starting to get more difficult that were fine a week ago.  Like climbing stairs. And getting out cars.  Or putting on socks.  All take more effort that I think is necessary and that is irritating.  Not because I can’t do it, but because I have TWO MORE MONTHS.  If I were further along, I’d be fine with flailing like a T-Rex while trying to reach my feet.  But ALREADY?  That’s just craziness, yo.  DO NOT LIKE.

See?  Whining again.  Y’all need to stop me…

Baby news aside, I have discovered in my poetry class that I am not a bad poet.  Apparently, I have a good ear, I use synecdoche and metonymy to great effect, my metaphors flow with obvious but fresh connections and I have a strong sense of rhythm.

AWWWW, YEAH.  That’s right, y’all.  I’m a literary bada** and had no idea.

And just so you don’t think that my professor is blowin’ sunshine up my butt, Liz likes my poetry too.  SO THERE.

Anyway, I hope to clean it up and send some poetry off fairly soon to see if they can be published; I’ll keep y’all updated.

Unless they get soundly and regularly rejected.  Then we shall never speak of this again.

And now, I leave you with a bit of fun.  Have you seen Young Me Now Me, a blog with photos that replicate a picture of themselves when they were younger?  My mom discovered an unintentional one of my father and I when she was sifting through photos last year; the top one was taken by my mom when I was about a month old (before my dad shipped back off to Okinawa) and the bottom was taken by my photographer Brandi Thompson (who is AMAZING and you should hire) at my wedding.

Weird part?  Baby picture is dated September 1979 and my wedding was September 2009.  EXACTLY 30 YEARS LATER.

Cue spooky, yet inspirational, music here.

Anyway, moppets, how’s tricks?

**Your mileage may vary.  Don’t come yellin’ at me when you’re six months pregnant and it sucks.

23 Comments on “9 more weeks? Sh*t.”

  1. Meghan
    May 16, 2012 at 12:26 pm #

    My dear. I hear you. I remember. My best advice is to stare at that celing fan and enjoy long brunches.

    • kindofamess
      May 17, 2012 at 4:27 pm #

      OOO! Long brunches. I need more of those in my life…

  2. beylit
    May 16, 2012 at 12:31 pm #

    Ok first, those pictures are great! I love those sorts of things. So very fun.

    Second, sorry to say but your kid will start caring about his room around like the age of 2. My god daughter was insistent about it being pink and frilly and ponies and…well she is opinionated enough that I can see why people think she is my actual daughter.
    But pretty much all the kids I have known are pretty interested in what their rooms look like when they are pretty darn young. You still have a couple of years though until the kid cares and you have to worry about their thoughts on wall color and not just that of your family and friends.

    And did you really say class of 32? That makes me feel really old.

    • kindofamess
      May 17, 2012 at 4:32 pm #

      I love that you so sweetly, yet so purposely, deflate my expectations. Age 2?? I do not like this.

      And yup. Born in ’12, graduate high school about 2029 and then college by 2032 or 33. (Jethro’s side is crazy smart. Lady B. did it in three, I’m hoping he takes after her.)

  3. sara
    May 16, 2012 at 1:04 pm #

    I just love the beautiful smile lines from your dad’s eyes in both those pictures. such joy!

    • kindofamess
      May 17, 2012 at 4:34 pm #

      My dad and I laughed the entire way through our dance, it felt a bit awkward so we just giggled and talked bad about annoying relatives and tried not to trip. :-)

  4. meditatingontherain
    May 16, 2012 at 1:15 pm #

    I had to read bits of this out loud to my husband, just to share the funny. Before he laughed, he asked “…soooo, have you moved from wedding blogs to pregnancy blogs?”

    • kindofamess
      May 17, 2012 at 4:36 pm #

      Aww, thanks! But noooooooo…this is not a pregnancy blog. Cause the minute I’m done with gestating my little parasite, I’m back to talking about bull pizzles and secret crushes on early 90′s R&B singers.

  5. helenbettencourtchase
    May 16, 2012 at 1:24 pm #

    Hey, I am totally one of those theatre kids. I got the reference. ;)

    Also, I LOVE that wedding photo!

    • kindofamess
      May 17, 2012 at 4:38 pm #

      YAY! And thank you, that’s awesome, coming from the lady with the most beautiful wedding photo EVER. (I don’t care if it’s been a couple years, I still dig it. :-) )

  6. Jacqueline
    May 16, 2012 at 1:50 pm #

    Goodness I’ve missed you and your writing. I laughed through this whole post.

    “So thick legs and a mullet with an attitude and a propensity to flash his junk as much as possible.

    I’m not having a baby OR pony; I’m having a Whitesnake roadie. *sigh*”

    Hilarious

    • kindofamess
      May 17, 2012 at 4:40 pm #

      Thanks, lady! Although if this kid comes out puffing on a Marlboro Red and asking for a PBR, I might send him to you for raising… :-)

  7. kerry
    May 16, 2012 at 2:02 pm #

    I’m excited that you are going to submit your work! I have a rejection-letter-survivor support group going, in the event that you get a few. Incidentally, I am the only one in it so far.

    • kindofamess
      May 17, 2012 at 4:43 pm #

      Oooo! Oooo! I have a rejection letter from a story I sent late last year, can I be in it now? Do we have snacks at the meetings? I find Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies go a long way in balming the sting of “You shouldn’t even write a grocery list.”

  8. Lizzie
    May 16, 2012 at 2:08 pm #

    I love the photos of you and your dad! I can’t waiiiiit until Baby-Kind-of-a-Mess comes to say hello!

    • kindofamess
      May 17, 2012 at 4:43 pm #

      Until he spits up on you!! Wear an old shirt when you first come to visit! :-)

  9. Sharon
    May 16, 2012 at 4:56 pm #

    Yup I pretty much related to all of this (and as an ex-theatre kid even got the analogy). I keep getting to the point where I’m like “How is it possible she is going to get bigger? We are at maximum capacity!” Then I get used to it for a day or two and then she’s growing again.

    Love the photos – and the line about having a Whitesnake roadie made me laugh out loud ;-)

    Good luck in your last 9 weeks!

    • kindofamess
      May 17, 2012 at 4:44 pm #

      Thanks, you too! I like to poke my belly and holler, “She canna take any more, cap’n!!” Because, seriously, HOW MUCH BIGGER CAN I GET?

  10. Morgan
    May 16, 2012 at 6:41 pm #

    I loved pregnancy until about week 32. (Thankfully we went to Mexico in week 31!) Those last 6 weeks were uncomfortable.

    But I still see pregnant ladies and feel actual pangs of missing it. And the baby’s already 10 weeks old.

    • kindofamess
      May 17, 2012 at 4:47 pm #

      I KNOW I’m going to miss parts of it and I’m already dreading that. And then come those days when I contemplate calling my doctor and begging for some sort of non-damaging medically induced coma…usually the days I get heartburn, gas AND sciatica…
      My kid better be as cute as yours to make up for this crap, that’s all I’m sayin’…. :-)

  11. Vmed
    May 17, 2012 at 9:45 pm #

    So glad you posted! my duedate is early july, and I hear you on the third trimester laziness (and the unmentionable rudeness of the fetus). Do we have a crib? carseat? changing supplies? nope. we painted but we won’t have “decorations” per say. A lot of stuff is just going to have to be good enough. Yeah, I’d say week 32 was a turning point. But good luck, and I wish you a burst of energy right when you need it.

    • kindofamess
      May 20, 2012 at 12:18 pm #

      Thank you, and congratulation to you too!!! My line of thinking is slowly but surely sliding into yours; I’m looking at things these last few days and going, “Eh, good enough.” It’s nice and freeing, actually… :-)

  12. Laura
    May 23, 2012 at 11:18 am #

    If I’m doing my math correctly, you and I pretty are much at the same point in our pregnancies, so everything I just read, is about as close to the truth as the Bible for me!! Especially the part about putting on your socks and trying to get out of the damn car!!

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