An Life in the Messy House

Jethro: “”Why are there titties on the infomercial?”

Me: “It’s the Genie Bra.’”

*Overly excited women discuss a poor woman in a boring black bra that doesn’t support.*

Jethro: “You have that bra.”

*Death stare*

*Later*

Jethro: “It’s titty spanx! Spanx for boobs…”

Me: “Turn it.”

Jethro: “TITTY SPANX!”

*************

Me: “Field of Dreams? Again?”

Jethro: “You no want the remote, you no bitch.”

**********

Jethro: “I made up a new word. Shnart.”

Me: “What?”

Jethro: “It’s when you sneeze so hard you fart and then accidentally poop yourself. Shnart.”

Me: “I want a divorce.”

*************

Jethro: “Can we name our baby Squiggy?”

Me: “No.”

Jethro: “Laverne?”

Me: “No.”

Jethro: “Fonzie?”

Me: “No.”

Jethro: “Chumbawamba?”

Me: *sigh*

*************

Me, after walking into a fart cloud: DEAR GOD. Am I going to have to start walking around with a G-D canary on my shoulder??

*************

Me: Stop calling the dog “Dookie!” She’s starting to answer to it…”

Jethro: “DOOKIE!” *Maggie comes running*

*************

Me: You know, every time I catch you watching Antique Roadshow by yourself, you just give me more hope that you’ll turn out to be the gay husband I’ve always wanted.

*Later*

Me: Watching WWE Raw will not cancel out the fact that you just watched Antique Roadshow like a little old lady.

Jethro: I like watching historical things.

Me: You TAPED it. You like knick-knacks.

Jethro: That one guy just sold like $30,000 worth of damn baseball cards.

Me: Bric-a-brac.

Jethro: It’s historical!

Me: TCHOTCHKES!

Jethro: I hate you.

*************

Image from here.

http://www.ellf.ru/photos/print:page,1,27049-lyuvo-yeto-18-foto.html

12 Comments on “An Life in the Messy House”

  1. Amy
    May 4, 2011 at 7:24 am #

    I live in Dubuque, IA, which is where Field of Dreams was filmed. You can visit the actual field of dreams about twenty minutes away. I take great pleasure in knowing that my rear has rested on the same bleachers as James Earl Jones’s.

    • kindofamess
      May 4, 2011 at 3:54 pm #

      Your booty has touched greatness. Which makes me want to touch your booty.

  2. christy
    May 4, 2011 at 7:33 am #

    Haha! I kind of *love* you two!

    • kindofamess
      May 4, 2011 at 3:55 pm #

      Thanks! I partially do this so people will believe me when I tell them that Jethro DOES talk! :-)

  3. Kerry
    May 4, 2011 at 8:03 am #

    We have the same kind of name conversations. Only Craig’s constant suggestions are “Sand” and “Kooshbal.”

    I think Jethro’s not far off the mark with “Laverne.” Kind of retro awesome. Plus, “Ernie” is a badass nickname for a little girl.

    • kindofamess
      May 4, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

      Ernie IS kinda cute for a girl. But we live in Texas, she’ll HAVE to be super popular to pull that off. You can’t be bookish and homely girl and be named Ernie. You’ll never survive junior high….

      On the other hand, Kooshbal is AMAZING. I need a dog named Kooshball….

  4. meghan
    May 4, 2011 at 8:42 am #

    Eric suggested “Pocket” last night. Because “everyone loves a pocket.” I hate to admit that I could see his logic.

    • kindofamess
      May 4, 2011 at 3:58 pm #

      YES. I have never hated a pocket.

      Except those stupid ones that are sewn shut.

      Seriously, Eric might be a genius. Plus, great name for a band….

  5. lizzie
    May 4, 2011 at 10:39 am #

    ha! isaiah says shnart all the time. glad you got back at him!

    @kerry: Kooshbal is the best name ever…don’t you remember kooshes?!

    this only reaffirms that i’m POSITIVE isaiah and your man will be best of friends, ha.

    • kindofamess
      May 4, 2011 at 3:59 pm #

      I was actually corrected on the spelling of shnart. He’s serious about this one, he thinks he’s a genius. I’m going to gleefully let him know that he’s unoriginal… :-)

  6. Jo
    May 4, 2011 at 11:32 am #

    LMAO.

    We just named our new food processor ‘Culinarion’.

    • kindofamess
      May 4, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

      That is AWESOME.

      Also, I desparately want a food processor. So I can process things.

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