I have always wanted to learn to knit. Well, maybe not ALWAYS, but it’s been up there as one of those crafts I’ve wanted to master. It just seems so comforting, to be sitting in front of a fire, sipping cocoa and knitting a sweater.
Though if we’re gonna be real, it’d be more like me sitting in front of the TV with a beer and knitting a very long scarf because I can only do straight lines.
I did learn to knit once, briefly, for a summer repertory show. I played a dingy 50’s housewife and I had to sit in a chair and knit while my husband filmed an interview with an alien. (Don’t ask.)
I learned to knit a scarf and I even worked on it at home so it would look like a work in progress and not just something I did for 4 minutes in the play. I was very proud of myself, until my director gave me a note after rehearsal that said, “I love how you made the scarf all crooked and strange; it is such a nice character touch!”
Apparently my stitches were too tight and the scarf had a definite curvature to it.
Stupid scarf. At least I looked like a brilliant comedic actress…
[Sidenote? That story just made me choke up a bit; that director was one of my favorites and he's retiring in a couple weeks. Great, now I'm all sniffly about a scarf and feeling old. Moving on, shall we?]
Anyway, I’ve completely forgotten everything about knitting. I can crochet a mean granny square, but only if my mom starts it for me and reminds me how….
Speaking of which, did y’all know that I once made my mom a blanket? I used a deep purple yarn and spent months on it, while in college and busy drinking and figuring out when I needed to go to bed in order to be the least hungover for my Tuesday 9am class. And you know what happened to that blanket? Apparently I dropped a stitch somewhere in the middle and it started to unravel. And instead of telling me or fixing it, she gave it to the DOG. Granted, he’s a cute dog and a smart little sh*t, but he’s the DOG. The one that replaced me in our house and jumped on my stomach when I had 23 staples in it from my splenectomy. The one my parents like more than me. THE DOG…
I might have some issues about the dog.
So. My fellow lady crafters. Who here knits? How do I start to learn? Send me to some blogs, is there someone I need to be following?
Image found on We Heart It, but is really Banksy art so I’m crediting him. He’d be okay with me using it, don’t ya think?