Here’s the thing.
And it’s hard to admit, even to y’all.
But we’re friends here, right?
I…I don’t care about purses.
I know, I KNOW!!! I’m a terrible girl, right?
But seriously, I value function over form when it comes to bags and purses. If I can’t find all my crap in it, I don’t give a good GD about how cute it is, I ain’t buyin’ it.
And because I don’t care about bags, I don’t have a favorite designer.
That is…until I met Kate Spade.
Oh, Katie, how I covet your stuff. I just adore the colors and the lines. Simple, not too frou-frou, but still girly.
I began my love affair with the Sam.
I eyed that thing for months, checking out sales on Ebay, trying to figure out how many time I had to donate plasma in order to afford it. (Eleven.)
And then my best friend Michael came back from his stint at Toyko Disney Japan. He was flush with cash and looking to school me in the ways of bag and purses. SO, being the amazing man he is, he ordered the Sam online for me.
When it came in the mail, I was apprehensive on even opening the box. Would the bag recognize my massive level of un-coolness and judge me unworthy? Would the bag explode upon my touching it with my bargain brand hands?
Neither happened. Instead…something worse happened.
I didn’t like it.
The straps didn’t fit right, the was too boxy and bulky and, horror of horrors, it didn’t feel right.
Michael encouraged me to put all my stuff in it and try it out, just to make sure. If not, we’d take it to the Kate Spade store and exchange it. So I took Sam to work the next day, packed to the brim with all my crap. And it still didn’t feel right. I was so freaked out about messing up the bag before we took it back, I locked it in the trunk of my car, hidden under coats.
So we took poor Sam to the Kate Spade store to exchange her. And while searching around, and trying to convince myself that I didn’t need a diaper bag, no matter how cute they are, I found this.
Simple, cute and something I could use every day. Jackpot. (NOTE: My bag has a pocket in the front. I actually don’t know the name of my bag. I know, bad. But this is the closest I could find. I know you’ll forgive me.)
So we bid Sam goodbye and said hello to possibly-Karen. I was pretty nervous exchanging the bag. I mean, this thing was expensive. Up until that point in my life, my largest personal frivolous purchase had a VCR in 2001. (Shut up, young’n's.) I was just worried that the saleslady would realize that I’d taken it out of the box and *gasp* USED the bag even though we said we hadn’t. Even if it was only for like 3 hours. (WHAT? I’m pathrologically honest, it’s a thing.)
But as we made the exchange, I breathed a sigh of relief. My retail subterfuge would not be found out. I’d get my new bag and we’d be on our way.
That is, until the saleslady looked into one of the smaller pockets of Sam and pulled out a wrinkly Shout wipe and a crumpled post-it with “pantiliners, lettuce and Diet Coke” written on it.
I can still feel her disdain, even now.
And I’ve had possibly-Karen ever since. And though it doesn’t look new, it also doesn’t look nearly six years old. (When was the last time y0u had a purse you used every day for seven years that didn’t fall apart on ya? Totally worth the ridiculous amount of money.)
So that brings me to one of the items on my Life List: Own 5 Kate Spade items. (A life list item doesn’t need to be noble. It can be pricey and fashionable.)
If I were to fulfill my LL item right now, it’d go a little something like this.
barrow street travel anabel. Giant. With a bow.
lawn party straw tate. Usually not my style, but I can’t resist giant anything.
houndstooth nylon stevie baby bag. I don’t care if it’s a diaper bag. WANT. It’s houndstooth. HOUND!!!
gold coast shimmer maryanne. SHIMMER. You can’t resist the shimmer.
cobble hill leslie. A little more practical with the zipper closure. I tend to drop my bag. And shove it off desks on accident. Or knock it off the top of cars. Or use it to hit Jethro with when he cropdusts me in malls.
chrystie street large anisha. Look at how huge this is. HUGE, I tell you. I could fit a small child in there…
crystal corsage short necklace. Because it doesn’t have to be all about bags, there can be shiny. I’ll wear this at my second marriage to Taye Diggs. (Don’t worry, Jethro will be invited. Someone has to watch the kids when Taye takes me on our honeymoon to Hawaii…)
So. You like? What’s YOUR brand?