Dirty Little Secrets will be an ongoing series on the blog. I share my dirty little secrets, which are barely dirty and mostly not secret, and then you share your similar secrets in the comments. No judging, just lots of love. The kind of sharing that Grover taught us on Sesame Street. [Please note: if you did not learn how to share from Grover on Sesame Street, you are probably too young for this blog. Get your butt over here post-haste.]
- I don’t really have a problem with Justin Bieber. I know all the cool kids hate him, but I think he’s cute in a obnoxious way. I mean, he’s like 16, people! Everyone is an idiot at 16. Plus, he’s got the Usher stamp of approval. You don’t argue with that.
-On the topic of crushes, here are some of my other more embarrassing ones: Kevin Smith, Eminem, Ian McKellan, Ben Affleck, Patrick Stewart and 50 Cent. Not kidding.
- There is a distinct possibility that while I will not enter my child into pageants a’la Toddlers and Tiaras, I cannot say the same about me having a wardrobe full of poufy giant dresses for them. Including tiaras.
- I’d sell my husband for a Dyson vacuum.
- I am terrified of scary children in movies. I hate scary movies in general, but creepy children make me climb the walls and cry for my momma.
- I don’t know anything about cars and I think they’re kind of boring, but I adore Top Gear.
- I love being a woman, but I really really really want to grow up to be a drag queen. My best friend is a former Miss Gay Texas, and I’m still jealous. I think this has always been a dream of mine, considering that two of my dreams as a child were to be a Solid Gold Dancer and to be on Puttin’ on the Hits.
- I don’t really like chocolate. Just not my thing. I know, I know.
- I maybe might have owned all of Celine Dion’s albums up until the late 90’s. Maybe.
Alright, you guys. Dish.